Humor

Our Grand Adventure, Part I

This week the kids and I got to cross two more items off our bucket list: traveling somewhere by train…

…and seeing the Grand Canyon.

When we first started talking about this trip, we’d planned to do it sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The kids would be out of school, the garden would be in low-maintenance mode, and it wouldn’t be too hot to hike the Rim. I mentioned the idea to another mom in my hiking group, and she must have mentioned it to others, because pretty soon it had become an official group outing. This was awesome, for several reasons. One, I’m realistic about the risks of a single mom and two kids traveling by themselves, and a group feels safer. Two, it’s more fun to hike with other people. And the biggest reason, the lady who organized the trip did such an amazing job of planning and finding discounts, that we ended up doing WAY more fun stuff than the kids and I had originally planned, for hundreds of dollars less than our basic plan would have cost! It was unbelievable how inexpensive and FUN this trip was. The only downside was that the trip was scheduled for October rather than December, which actually turned out to be an upside, as we realized later.

We left Anza on Saturday morning. Most of the group were carpooling from the Temecula or Hemet areas, or taking Amtrak from Riverside CA to Williams AZ, but it made more sense for the kids and I to drive straight from Anza to Williams via Palm Springs, rather than detouring in the opposite direction to follow the others.

The weather was autumn-brisk, and this was our holiday trip after all, so we blasted Christmas music the whole way there. Trans-Siberian Orchestra makes the miles fly past, and the drive felt shorter than the six or so hours it took. We arrived at the Grand Canyon Railway Hotel around 4pm, checked into our room, met our roommate (sharing rooms was part of the package) and then explored the grounds. We found a heated indoor swimming pool and a jacuzzi, and wished we’d brought our swimsuits. Then we found a gym, stocked with a dozen different kinds of workout and weightlifting equipment. We had it mostly to ourselves, so the kids had to try every single step-trainer, spinner, cross-trainer, weight press and treadmill in the place.

At 6:00 we met with the rest of the group for dinner. One of the really cool things about this outing was that nearly everything was covered by the incredibly low package price that we’d already paid, including dinner Saturday night and breakfast Sunday morning at the Railway Hotel Restaurant. It was buffet style, so no shortage of food. After dinner the whole group relaxed in front of the fire in the beautiful lobby, and discussed hiking plans for Sunday and Monday.

Brief tangent: the furniture in the hotel lobby was enormous. When I sat on one of the sofas there I felt like a child. Luke and Elizabeth looked like toddlers.

That fireplace in the photo is HUGE, but it looks normal-sized next to that giant furniture.

Anyway, so we planned our itineraries. Some of us really wanted to get out there and hike the trails, others preferred to make use of the shuttle tours, and some were looking forward to just relaxing and socializing in the Village. There were something like 23 of us altogether, so a bit of organizing was needed to make sure everyone had the experience they wanted.

Once all of that was settled, most of the group went out to enjoy the Williams nightlife. The kids and I headed back to our room, relaxed for a while and were asleep by ten, because we are party animals that way.

Alas, our roommate stumbled in very late (or early, really), puttered around noisily for what seemed like forever, and then finally went to sleep — and began snoring at such an impressive volume that all our hopes of sleep were shattered. Well, Elizabeth managed to doze off, but Luke and I buried our heads under pillows and blankets to no avail. I think I finally managed a fitful sleep sometime after four, because when the alarm went off at six it did wake me up. Luke apparently had the same thought, because he sat up and said in a surprised voice, “Wow, I DID fall asleep!”

One thing about Luke: if he feels that someone is in need of chastising, he ain’t shy. Until we’d gotten dressed and left the room I had to constantly shush him, because he fully intended to give our roommate a lengthy piece of his mind. Once we’d checked our luggage and were heading to breakfast, I was able to explain to him that some people stay up later than others, and some people snore, and it’s just the luck of the draw when it comes to matching up roommates, and she wasn’t trying to keep us awake on purpose, and under no circumstances was he allowed to scold her. He accepted that, though not particularly gracefully, and then we went to the restaurant and comforted ourselves with orange juice and eggs and sausage and fajitas and biscuits and gravy and muffins and pastries and yogurt and frittatas and toast.

After breakfast we gathered up our carry-on belongings and headed over to the train depot. Once there we were treated to the obligatory goofy Western shootout show.

Luke thought it was hilarious. Elizabeth thought it was amusing. I am a cantankerous old fart and was glad when it was over.

Then we boarded the train, and we were off to the Canyon! It took about two hours and 15 minutes to get there, and the scenery was wonderful.

We saw a herd of antelope in a meadow; there was wildlife everywhere. Near the end of the ride a guy came to our car with a fiddle and entertained us with corny jokes.

Being a cantankerous old fart, I enjoyed that about as much as I’d enjoyed the Old West show. Sorry Fiddle Guy, but your jokes are lame. Make funny jokes and I will like you.

Once we arrived at the Grand Canyon Depot on the South Rim, we caught a shuttle to Maswik Lodge, where we would be spending Sunday night. It was too early to check into our room, but our checked luggage had already arrived there and we were able to drop off some of our carry-on stuff for safekeeping. Then the kids and I walked up to the Rim to get our first look at the main attraction.

Technically, it wasn’t the first time I’d seen the Grand Canyon. My parents had taken me there a few times as a kid, so I had a vague memory of it. And to be honest, I was a little concerned that Luke and Elizabeth would be too jaded by the wonders of modern technology to be impressed by a canyon, however grand.

So we walked up to the Rim, and there it was, stark and colorful and impossibly vast.

It’s so big that you can only can only see parts of it at a time. As long as it took us to drive from Anza CA to Williams AZ, that’s how long it would take if you were to drive from the South Rim around to the North Rim.

I said, “Wow.”

The kids didn’t say anything for a long time.

We walked along the rim trail for a while, killing time until it was time to rejoin the group. I could see that the kids were not unimpressed — quite the opposite — but they seemed to be having trouble finding the right words to describe the sheer enormity of the thing.

Elizabeth finally found a comfortable context in technology. “It looks fake,” she decided. “Like a painted backdrop.”

“CGI maybe,” I nodded. “It’s gotta be special effects.”

“Yeah.”

Luke took longer to put his reaction into words. I think it was a couple of hours later; he’d been unusually quiet since his first glimpse into the abyss. “There is NO WAY,” he suddenly burst out, “that Paul Bunyon could have made that by dragging his axe along the ground. I don’t care HOW big he was.”

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Read Part II Here.

Categories: Christmas, Family, Friends, Humor, kids, Life, Love, Road trip, Travel, Wildlife | Tags: , | 1 Comment

(Sorta) Wordless Wednesday: The Trees Are Hungry. And Thirsty.

Categories: environment, Humor, Life, trees, Wordless Wednesday | 1 Comment

Love, In Focus

For a good part of this past year I’ve been grumbling that I need reading glasses, and not actually doing anything about it. It usually slips my mind until the kids’ bedtime, when I read a chapter aloud from the Bible and find myself holding the book at arm’s length to focus on the tiny words. Or when I’m trying to read the microscopic list of ingredients on some container. It’s typical middle-age presbyopia; there’s no problem unless I’m trying to read fine print. Anyway, for some reason I just kept whinging about needing the glasses and never got around to buying them.

Guess what I found in my stocking on Christmas morning?

Elizabeth bought them for me. With her own money.

And to appreciate the significance of that, you have to understand that my sweet girl is, let us say, Not A Financially Generous Person. To my knowledge she has never spent her own personal money on anyone but herself before. This is a kid who can spot a penny on the ground fifty feet away, and will stop what she’s doing to go and pick it up. A kid who loves the annual Christmas Gift Shop at her school because it offers lots of inexpensive shinies for her to buy — for herself. True story: last year both kids ended up getting a lot of cash for Christmas from various relatives. We went on a shopping trip and Elizabeth had soon frittered away all her money on useless shiny objects. Luke, who had received everything he’d asked for for Christmas, came home without spending a dime; he just hadn’t seen anything that he wanted. And within a few days Elizabeth had wheedled him into spending all of HIS Christmas money on stuff for HER via Amazon.com.

Another true story: last week when we went to Riverside, I was feeling very budget-conscious because of all the money I’d spent on Christmas, so I packed a lunch for us to eat at the park and I told everyone to eat a good breakfast because I didn’t want to end up having to buy any food in the pricey Mission Inn area. Apparently both kids were having an off morning, because Luke neglected to eat any breakfast at all and Elizabeth neglected to put our lunch into the car (the one task I’d assigned to her). I was pretty exasperated when I found out, and not just with them. I realized that I’d fallen into a pattern of picking up the slack in these kinds of situations, rescuing Luke and Elizabeth from the consequences of their carelessness, smoothing things over, so they’d had no motivation to improve. Even then my impulse was to say, “It’s okay, we can get lunch at that sandwich place near the Inn.” Which we could, but that place is freaking expensive like all the other places to get decent food near the Inn, and I really and truly could not afford to drop thirty dollars on lunch that day. So what I said was, “We can go to that sandwich place near the Inn, and anyone who wants to eat can pay for their own food.” They both had this year’s Christmas money, so I don’t think I was being unreasonable. I paid for my lunch, Luke paid for his lunch, and Elizabeth….

Well, Elizabeth bought herself a cookie, because she could not bear the thought of spending her precious dollars on anything as mundane and transitory as food. (She had the last laugh though, because Luke’s lunch was too big for him to finish. She helpfully polished it off for him.)

This is not a girl who is lavishly charitable with her money, is what I’m saying.

But she went into an actual grownup store and spent a fair chunk of her beloved lucre on a lovely pair of reading glasses for me, so that I would have something in my stocking on Christmas morning. (And probably also so she wouldn’t have to keep listening to me grumbling about needing them, but still.)

This is one of the things I like best about Christmas: the way it inspires people to show their love in ways they normally might not. The happy surprises.

Happy Love Thursday, All. Here’s to the moments that help us see our loved ones…a little more clearly.

Categories: Christmas, Family, frugality, Humor, kids, Life, Love, Love Thursday | 4 Comments

Tuesday Tales: Chains

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Chains (Click the link to read this week’s chapter.)

“But first, our sweet girl has secrets. And I would know them.”

Categories: Austin After Dark, Fiction, Gaming, Humor, Role-Playing Games, Tuesday Tales | Leave a comment

Seriously, 2011? Seriously?

Everywhere I look people are grumbling “Good riddance to 2010! What a crappy year!” Twitter, Facebook and most of my favorite bloggers seem to be in agreement about the epic suckitude of the past twelve months.

As usual I’m the oddball: I had a GREAT 2010. Truly a fantastic year for me and the kids.

2011 is, sadly, shaping up to be less than stellar. I know we’re only three days into it, but let’s take a look at what we’ve got so far:

On New Year’s Eve morning I woke up with the sort of head/chest cold and fever that erodes one’s will to live. And then it wouldn’t freaking go away. New’s Year’s Day I was still dragging around congested, feverish, coughing up smurfs and generally being a big whiner. Yesterday I finally kicked the fever and got my energy back, but all of the other symptoms are, as of today, still firmly entrenched in my respiratory system. This is what I get for bragging that I never get sick anymore since I started growing my own food.

This morning we woke up to about a half-inch of snow. My little car slipped and slid all the way to the bus stop. I suspect that I have the wrong vehicle for my location. Anyway, the bus was very late so I shut the car off while we waited, and than after it finally came and the kids left my car would not restart. It clicked like a bad starter, but the oil pressure and battery lights were both lit. I could have called AAA, but I was wearing my pajamas, a bathrobe, worn-out Uggs and a ratty Carhartt jacket, and was feeling less than presentable. I could have walked home, gotten dressed, called AAA and then walked back to the car, but it’s a about a mile along a paved road just to get to the driveway and see above regarding my stylish ensemble. So I gritted my teeth and called Steve. And he came and gave my battery a jump and my car started and I drove home. So before I get on with the grousing about how I probably need a new starter and I have no money and why did this have to happen right after Christmas, let me take a moment to marvel over the mindboggling fact that Steve has become one of the most dependably helpful people in my life lately. It is almost painful for me to admit that, and I would rather eat thumbtacks than take advantage of this inexplicable grace, but the fact remains that in the past year or two he has been there for me in moments when no one else was and I am deeply grateful.

And now: Probably need new starter, no money, why right after Christmas, etc. /grouse

So 2011 is getting off to a shaky start for me. I’m really hoping it’s just getting all the bad stuff out of its system right at the beginning, so the rest of the year can be drama-free. Yay optimism!

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In other news:

Luke has a passion for turn-of-the-century (as in 1900) machinery and steam-tech, especially in European settings, so the game Ticket To Ride: Europe was an easy pick for one of his Christmas presents. It’s a lot of fun to play, but the gameboard is basically a map of Europe and we don’t know how to pronounce some of the city names. Most of them we can figure out because we’re familiar with the English translation, like Bruxelles and København (Brussels and Copenhagen), but others we just have to guess at. Sure, we could Google the correct pronunciations, but because we are children we prefer to substitute our own words in place of the names. All of this is to explain the following exchange from a few nights ago:

Luke: “I’m claiming the route from Breast to Diaper.”

Me: “Ah, yes. Pretty short trip, as I recall. About twenty minutes, usually.”

Yes, I am twelve. And so is my ten-year-old son.

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Speaking of twelve-year-olds, I also got Luke two of the “Diary Of A Wimpy Kid” sequels, “The Last Straw” and “The Ugly Truth,” since he enjoyed the first book so much. He and Elizabeth have both spent the past week reading, rereading, laughing at and quoting their favorite bits from both of them. I haven’t read any of the series myself yet, but just going by how much my kids love these books I have to recommend them to anyone with kids in the 10- to 15-year-old age group. Luke doesn’t read a lot of fiction, he’s more into history, science and machinery, so for a kids’ book to grab his interest this hard it has to be exceptionally entertaining. If you have kids of middle school age or thereabouts, check this series out!

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And now I am off to eat a bowl of frozen pomegranate seeds, because they are magical and will restore me to full health. Any day now.

Categories: books, Family, Gaming, Health, Humor, kids, Life, Nutrition, Weather, Winter | Tags: , | 2 Comments

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