Family

Mike Mulligan Would Be Proud

I guess Elizabeth has been getting a lot more attention on this blog than Luke, probably because her basic wiring is so different from mine that nearly everything she does and says is a source of fascination and/or amazement to me.

Luke isn’t hard for me to fathom, most of the time. He got my genetics, my wiring; for the most part he sees the world the way I see it. I instinctively understand most of his emotions and frustrations. He feels things Very Strongly, and part of me hopes he learns to govern his passions earlier in life than I did, while another part of me hopes that they never get worn down and dulled to the extent that mine eventually were.

But enough about all that maudlin stuff. Today I want to show off one of Luke’s truly awesome talents, one I hope he’ll continue to develop as he grows into adulthood.

It started when he was just an infant, and could not get enough of classical music. People told me that listening to it would help develop his spatial acuity or somesuch; all I knew was that the “Smart Symphonies” CD the hospital gave me when he was born was something he never got tired of listening to.

He was something like six or eight months old the time Elizabeth and I were putting together a 100-piece jigsaw puzzle and he was sitting on my lap, watching. Suddenly he reached over, picked up one of the little cardboard pieces, and snapped it confidently into place in one try. Then he just went back to watching.

When he was a toddler, he developed a hobby that I would have been much more supportive of if it hadn’t wreaked total havoc on our house. He would go through all the rooms, selecting apparently random household objects and putting them in a big pile on the living-room floor. When he’d found all the objects he needed, he would then assemble them into a tugboat, or a locomotive, or an airplane, or whatever he’d wanted to build that day.

This gift of his has gone through several incarnations over the years, and I’m sorry to say I probably haven’t given it the amount of attention and encouragement it deserves. This sort of creativity tends to be incredibly messy, and now that I’m an old grup I seem to notice the mess more than the results. And that is sad.

Today Luke asked me if he could get a steam shovel for his birthday, like the one in “Mike Mulligan And His Steam Shovel.” I told him that I didn’t think they made that particular model of toy anymore, because in real life steam shovels have been replaced by diesel-powered excavators.

He frowned irritably at that news, then shrugged and said that was okay, he’d just make his own then.

I am ashamed to say that when I saw him hard at work on the living-room floor amid piles of construction paper and scotch tape, I grumbled that he’d better clean up the mess when he was done. Honestly, what is wrong with me?

A little while later he called out that he was taking his steam shovel outside to play in the sand. I asked him if I could see it first, and he handed me this little marvel of paper engineering:

steamshovel

The Chicago bolt in the main body is a pulley that raises and lowers the bucket by winding and unwinding the cord. The brad on the front arm serves as a hinge, to create realistic digging action. This is a fully-functional toy.

Luke’s long-term goal in life is to help save the planet by inventing a completely non-polluting car engine that runs on water or air or some other clean fuel. I would be the last person in the world to discourage him in this ambition, because I honestly believe that if he’s allowed to develop his gifts to the fullest there will be very little he can’t accomplish. I wish I could afford to give him all the resources he deserves, instead of making him make do with construction paper and scotch tape.

This is a boy who has something to offer the world. He never doubts his purpose in life, or his ability to achieve whatever he sets his mind to. He gets Very Frustrated when reality doesn’t accommodate his plans, but he never doubts the value of the plans themselves. He firmly believes that some realities need to be reshaped and reinvented. And so do I.

The fact that he cleaned up every last scrap of his steam-shovel-creation mess from the living-room floor without being reminded? Icing on the cake.

Categories: Artwork, Family, kids, Life, Love | 8 Comments

This Is My Angry Face.

You can’t see it, but trust me. I am RADIATING anger right now.

The kids spent the night with Steve last night, because I had to be up and at the church crazy early to help with the parade float. So I called his cell a little past 8pm to tell them good night and give them phone hugs and kisses.

Except they weren’t home. Steve had taken them to the karaoke bar so he could hang out with his latest victim, who works there.

We have a verbal agreement that he will tell me if he’s going to take the kids out anywhere, because I like to know where they are. This hasn’t been a problem before, because he doesn’t usually take them anywhere, because I’ve told him that if he ever DRINKS while he’s watching my kids, or heaven forbid, DRINKS AND THEN DRIVES WITH THEM IN HIS TRUCK, he will lose his unsupervised visitation rights. Since Steve is unable to be in a place that serves alcohol without partaking, and pretty much everywhere he goes serves alcohol, this has meant that the kids don’t usually go places with him.

(True story: once he took them to the home of his oldest friend, a guy he grew up with, whose kids are about the same age as ours. The idea was that the kids could play together while Steve and his friend hung out.

His oldest friend told him, “Dude, come back when you can drink!” So the kids have not been over there since.)

But anyway, Luke and and Elizabeth spent the night with him last night, and apparently a Friday night at home was out of the question. So they went to the bar with him.

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This morning after the float was ready to go and before the parade started, I found where the Silkotches were settled in along the parade route, and asked Luke and Elizabeth if they wanted to walk with me to DQ for some ice cream. Luke was comfy where he was, but Elizabeth said she’d come.

I don’t really care for DQ ice cream — I don’t think it has any actual cream in it, or any dairy-related substances for that matter, but there was something I needed to ask Elizabeth: had Steve been drinking last night when they were out with him?

She confirmed that he’d been drinking beer.

Epic. Visitation. Fail.

She ordered an ice cream sandwich, I ordered a Heath Blizzard, and we headed back. When we got to where Steve was, I informed him that since the verbal agreement hadn’t worked out, I’d be filing a formal visitation agreement.

“I was drinking iced tea last night!” he immediately declared indignantly.

“Elizabeth says you were drinking beer,” I shrugged. “I already know you’re a [censored] liar; her I trust.”

“I had…one beer,” he weaseled unconvincingly. “Then I switched to iced tea.”

“Thanks for the confession. Anyway, you aren’t supposed to take them out at all without notifying me.”

“I already apologized for that,” he sneered, as though that was supposed to end the matter. “So why don’t you just run along back to your–”

And that was when my Blizzard hit his head. It exploded against his face and into his hair and all over his hat in the most satisfying manner possible, and then splooshed down to cover his shoulders and chest. Seriously, if I had PLANNED to fling my Blizzard at him I could not have achieved a more glorious effect. It was a thing of beauty.

I left him dripping there and returned to where the float was parked, already writing the new visitation agreement in my head. I’m not sure how much I can legally do just on the basis of my word (or Elizabeth’s word, really) against his, but I know that if I turn a blind eye to this once and at some point down the road Luke and/or Elizabeth are killed or injured because of his irresponsibility, I would be responsible by assent. And also I would have to kill Steve, if he survived the accident.

So. Yeah. I’m angry. I’m tired of living next door to the whole ridiculous lot of them. I am considering options that will get me out of this neighborhood without violating my move-away restrictions. It is Time To Move On. That might make things a little harder at first, but I feel very strongly that, for the well-being of my children, the time has come to get out of Silkotchland.

I know doors open when they’re supposed to, and it’s generally not a good idea to try to kick them open prematurely just because you’re angry, but this is about Luke and Elizabeth making it to adulthood relatively intact.

Let’s see where kicking some doors gets me.

Categories: Family, kids, Life | 7 Comments

Haircut, Again

Elizabeth got another haircut today. She just had it cut three or four weeks ago, but I had talked her into just getting more layers instead of chopping it all short like she’d wanted, and she kept grumbling that it was too hot on her neck. Elizabeth’s hair is crazy thick and when it gets too long it becomes a hassle, but she’d gotten it bobbed short about a year ago and I didn’t think the look was all that flattering on her so I’d been trying to talk her out of doing it again.

Well, she didn’t get the bob again. This time she went even shorter, so that there was no possibility of any stray hairs heating up her neck for at least the rest of the summer.

It’s very cute. Here’s the before pic:

before

And here’s right after, while it was still wet…

after1

…and at home, after it had dried:

after2

Adorable! And she can just comb it and go, there’s no styling or fussing needed. That’ll make things a lot easier when she’s away at camp this summer.

I like it a lot.

Categories: Family, kids, Life | 1 Comment

It’s Funnier If You Read It Aloud

Luke has picked up Elizabeth’s penchant for writing stories in comic-book format, and like her he populates his tales with characters from movies, tv shows, books, etc.

This is Otto Matic, one of Luke’s favorite “borrowed” characters:

OttoMaticPromoScreen

Otto was the hero of a cool game that was on my last Mac, and now he’s the hero of countless adventures on the pages of Luke’s comic books. What makes it really funny is that in Luke’s world there are shops that sell “Otto Parts” and Otto drives the “Otto-Mobile,” and so on. It always makes me laugh when Luke is playing or drawing and he says with great dramatic emphasis, “TO THE OTTO-MOBILE!!”

You know, because it sounds like automobile. I’m easily entertained.

But I’m not the only one! Elizabeth produced this awesome bit of commentary this morning:

Laceart006

Bwahahah!

Snarkalicious proof that she is a true child of mine.

Not sure which side of the family the wings, tail, ears and horn come from though.

Categories: Artwork, Comics, Family, Humor, kids, Life | Leave a comment

Regarding Elizabeth

Last week I helped out at the kids’ school, making papier-mâché props for a musical production that Elizabeth was in. These are the two I helped build, “Sky God” and the tree:

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The play was last Thursday night. Elizabeth was in the soundtrack section, and did a fine job on the xylophone:

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Friday after school I picked the kids up from school and we headed down to Temec to run some errands. Elizabeth needed a haircut and some new boots, and we wanted to see “UP” (which btw is a fantastic movie). The whole afternoon was a lot of fun…except for the boot-buying experience, which was thankfully AFTER the haircut and movie and a very nice lunch at Souplantation. The boot thing? That was harrowing.

What happened was, Elizabeth saw these:

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You can’t tell from the pic, but they are covered in a fine glitter that makes them sparkle in the most delightful fashion. They were adorable and Elizabeth passionately loved them and I would have been happy to buy them for her…except that they weren’t available in the size she needed. They were available in the size she was already growing out of, and also in Much Too Big. I did not want to pay that much money for either of those sizes.

There were tears, and angry words, and finally what in Elizabeth-World passes for a full-on tantrum (which is intense but at least relatively quiet, much like Elizabeth herself), and finally I just picked out a pair of boots identical to the ones she was already wearing but a half-size larger and bought them and we got out of there.

Then there was fuming. That made the rest of our shopping so much fun!

Later that evening, when Elizabeth had gotten over the worst of her disappointment, we got into another squabble over some unrelated something. Since Elizabeth and I don’t usually squabble much at all, I’m pretty sure it was leftover grouchiness spilling over. At one point she actually frowned and declared, “Mom, you have spoiled me rotten and you’re just going to have to accept the consequences.”

I just sort of blinked and stared at her for a minute. Then I said, “You feel that I have spoiled you rotten?”

She shrugged in a rather cavalier fashion. “I’m a spoiled brat. It’s too late for me to change now. You’ll just have to get used to it.”

“Wow,” I replied. “Most eleven-year-olds, especially the spoiled brat variety, aren’t able to see that about themselves. I’m kind of impressed.”

The thing is…as eleven-year-olds go, I really think Elizabeth is near the lowish end of the brattiness scale. I mean, she has her moments, but I don’t know anyone who DOESN’T have the occasional moment, especially in that age bracket. And while she has most definitely inherited her father’s egocentric view of the world, I think for the most part she chooses to use it for good and not for evil.

And then sometimes she just digs her heels in and becomes the proverbial Immovable Object. Like with the parade float thing.

Around Easter our church’s youth music director put on a great production called “The Secret Of My Success.” Both Luke and Elizabeth had speaking parts and solo singing parts as well as singing with the group, and they both did really awesome. Now there’s another production in the works for July, and they were both given large speaking and singing parts. Which they were fine with, until they realized that being in the play meant that they’d also be riding, in full costume, on the church’s float in this year’s Anza Days parade. Elizabeth said she wasn’t going to be on the float, she was going to be on the sidelines watching the parade, and that was final. I told her that I’d be helping out with the float that day so if she was going to watch the parade it would have to be with her dad, and I do not know what his plans are for that day. She said she’d take her chances. No amount of discussion has changed her mind. Luke does what Elizabeth does, so if she isn’t going to be on the float then he doesn’t want to either.

Of course I could ORDER them to take the speaking parts and ride on the float, and they would do it, but that’s not the kind of parent I want to be. There would be no joy in the play for them or for me under those circumstances. So, as disappointed as I am that they won’t get to show off their acting talents this time, or ride in the parade, I’m not going to insist.

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And from the “What The Heck?” category, yesterday Elizabeth…wait, this one needs some backstory. Okay, a couple of weeks ago Elizabeth ate asphalt on her roller skates in a parking lot and got a big ugly scrape down one arm, near the elbow. Somehow THIS of all things is embarrassing for her, so for the past two weeks she’s been wearing long-sleeved shirts to school even on sweltering hot days so the other kids won’t see the scrape and ask questions.

So yesterday she wore a red shirt. While she was at school she cut out carefully-shaped pieces of paper and stapled them to the chest and sleeves of her shirt so that it looked something like this, but red:

startrekshirtcollage1.jpg

I just about fell out of the car laughing when she got off the bus wearing that. When I could breathe again I pointed out that she’d taken quite the risk, walking around in that shirt.

“I know,” she nodded philosophically. “I lived, though.”

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Ah, my girl. You are simpler and more complicated than Luke. You are simpler and more complicated than me. I’m pretty sure you’re more intelligent than I am, but so far I have the wisdom and experience on my side. I pray you’ll survive long enough to acquire them too.

But in the sweet name of basic self-preservation, leave the red shirts at home! There’s just no sense in tempting fate that way.

Categories: Artwork, Family, kids, Life, Star Trek | 7 Comments

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