Artwork

Contributing To The Geekiness Of Minors, Part 3

celebrity-pictures-leonard-nimoy-watch-episode

Earlier posts on this topic can be found here and here.

It’s hard to take Star Trek: The Original Series seriously in terms of plot, believability, acting talent and so on. Don’t get me wrong, the kids and I just finished Season 2 and we’re enjoying our almost-nightly episodes, but…we’re not into it for the realism.

Luke’s favorite part of the show is predicting which red-shirted ensign is going to die first in each episode. Last week we had a great moment when Luke was actually in mid-sentence: “Rest in peace, Redsh–” when a nearby alien suddenly decided to pull a dagger out of nowhere and fling it straight into the hapless ensign’s heart. Dude never even saw it coming, just fell dead in his tracks. Those shirts are LETHAL, man!

Elizabeth finds Kirk’s indiscriminate dalliances highly amusing. Some hot alien chick gets a close-up shot with the soft-focus lens and Elizabeth is all, “Oh, yeah, there’s gonna be kissing.” As soon as Kirk starts talking to the chick Elizabeth starts dubbing in her own dialogue in a sleazy Kirk-voice: “Hey, Baby. You look like you could use some kissin’, whaddaya say?”

Me, I just can’t get over how YOUNG they all are. They’re all smooth and fit and can dash across rocky alien landscapes with the greatest of ease! (I try to avoid watching the bonus material. Shatner and Nimoy look like a geriatric version of Laurel and Hardy in their recent interviews.)

*******************

Luke and Elizabeth have been coming with me to my worship meetings now that Steve is, for the time being, out of the picture. (I’m not sure which I find more illuminating: the fact that he hasn’t so much as called the kids to say hello since The Blizzard Incident, or the fact that they’ve expressed zero interest in calling him. Apparently there’s no relationship there at all, other than the one between Elizabeth and Steve’s PS2…she has mentioned that she misses that.)

Anyway, this works out great on Thursdays, because on that day the meeting is at the church and so is the youth group thing. So yesterday Luke and Elizabeth got to frolic amongst their own kind and play games and make crafts and Elizabeth whipped up this bit of glue art:

tribbles

She calls it, “Kirk gets buried by tribbles.”

Oh yeah. Resistance is futile.

I think it’s safe to say that their assimilation is complete.

Categories: Artwork, Family, Humor, kids, Life, Star Trek | 2 Comments

Mike Mulligan Would Be Proud

I guess Elizabeth has been getting a lot more attention on this blog than Luke, probably because her basic wiring is so different from mine that nearly everything she does and says is a source of fascination and/or amazement to me.

Luke isn’t hard for me to fathom, most of the time. He got my genetics, my wiring; for the most part he sees the world the way I see it. I instinctively understand most of his emotions and frustrations. He feels things Very Strongly, and part of me hopes he learns to govern his passions earlier in life than I did, while another part of me hopes that they never get worn down and dulled to the extent that mine eventually were.

But enough about all that maudlin stuff. Today I want to show off one of Luke’s truly awesome talents, one I hope he’ll continue to develop as he grows into adulthood.

It started when he was just an infant, and could not get enough of classical music. People told me that listening to it would help develop his spatial acuity or somesuch; all I knew was that the “Smart Symphonies” CD the hospital gave me when he was born was something he never got tired of listening to.

He was something like six or eight months old the time Elizabeth and I were putting together a 100-piece jigsaw puzzle and he was sitting on my lap, watching. Suddenly he reached over, picked up one of the little cardboard pieces, and snapped it confidently into place in one try. Then he just went back to watching.

When he was a toddler, he developed a hobby that I would have been much more supportive of if it hadn’t wreaked total havoc on our house. He would go through all the rooms, selecting apparently random household objects and putting them in a big pile on the living-room floor. When he’d found all the objects he needed, he would then assemble them into a tugboat, or a locomotive, or an airplane, or whatever he’d wanted to build that day.

This gift of his has gone through several incarnations over the years, and I’m sorry to say I probably haven’t given it the amount of attention and encouragement it deserves. This sort of creativity tends to be incredibly messy, and now that I’m an old grup I seem to notice the mess more than the results. And that is sad.

Today Luke asked me if he could get a steam shovel for his birthday, like the one in “Mike Mulligan And His Steam Shovel.” I told him that I didn’t think they made that particular model of toy anymore, because in real life steam shovels have been replaced by diesel-powered excavators.

He frowned irritably at that news, then shrugged and said that was okay, he’d just make his own then.

I am ashamed to say that when I saw him hard at work on the living-room floor amid piles of construction paper and scotch tape, I grumbled that he’d better clean up the mess when he was done. Honestly, what is wrong with me?

A little while later he called out that he was taking his steam shovel outside to play in the sand. I asked him if I could see it first, and he handed me this little marvel of paper engineering:

steamshovel

The Chicago bolt in the main body is a pulley that raises and lowers the bucket by winding and unwinding the cord. The brad on the front arm serves as a hinge, to create realistic digging action. This is a fully-functional toy.

Luke’s long-term goal in life is to help save the planet by inventing a completely non-polluting car engine that runs on water or air or some other clean fuel. I would be the last person in the world to discourage him in this ambition, because I honestly believe that if he’s allowed to develop his gifts to the fullest there will be very little he can’t accomplish. I wish I could afford to give him all the resources he deserves, instead of making him make do with construction paper and scotch tape.

This is a boy who has something to offer the world. He never doubts his purpose in life, or his ability to achieve whatever he sets his mind to. He gets Very Frustrated when reality doesn’t accommodate his plans, but he never doubts the value of the plans themselves. He firmly believes that some realities need to be reshaped and reinvented. And so do I.

The fact that he cleaned up every last scrap of his steam-shovel-creation mess from the living-room floor without being reminded? Icing on the cake.

Categories: Artwork, Family, kids, Life, Love | 8 Comments

It’s Funnier If You Read It Aloud

Luke has picked up Elizabeth’s penchant for writing stories in comic-book format, and like her he populates his tales with characters from movies, tv shows, books, etc.

This is Otto Matic, one of Luke’s favorite “borrowed” characters:

OttoMaticPromoScreen

Otto was the hero of a cool game that was on my last Mac, and now he’s the hero of countless adventures on the pages of Luke’s comic books. What makes it really funny is that in Luke’s world there are shops that sell “Otto Parts” and Otto drives the “Otto-Mobile,” and so on. It always makes me laugh when Luke is playing or drawing and he says with great dramatic emphasis, “TO THE OTTO-MOBILE!!”

You know, because it sounds like automobile. I’m easily entertained.

But I’m not the only one! Elizabeth produced this awesome bit of commentary this morning:

Laceart006

Bwahahah!

Snarkalicious proof that she is a true child of mine.

Not sure which side of the family the wings, tail, ears and horn come from though.

Categories: Artwork, Comics, Family, Humor, kids, Life | Leave a comment

Regarding Elizabeth

Last week I helped out at the kids’ school, making papier-mâché props for a musical production that Elizabeth was in. These are the two I helped build, “Sky God” and the tree:

DSCF3435_2

DSCF3419_2

*********************************************************************************

The play was last Thursday night. Elizabeth was in the soundtrack section, and did a fine job on the xylophone:

DSCF3426

****************

Friday after school I picked the kids up from school and we headed down to Temec to run some errands. Elizabeth needed a haircut and some new boots, and we wanted to see “UP” (which btw is a fantastic movie). The whole afternoon was a lot of fun…except for the boot-buying experience, which was thankfully AFTER the haircut and movie and a very nice lunch at Souplantation. The boot thing? That was harrowing.

What happened was, Elizabeth saw these:

s7_824062_imageset_02

You can’t tell from the pic, but they are covered in a fine glitter that makes them sparkle in the most delightful fashion. They were adorable and Elizabeth passionately loved them and I would have been happy to buy them for her…except that they weren’t available in the size she needed. They were available in the size she was already growing out of, and also in Much Too Big. I did not want to pay that much money for either of those sizes.

There were tears, and angry words, and finally what in Elizabeth-World passes for a full-on tantrum (which is intense but at least relatively quiet, much like Elizabeth herself), and finally I just picked out a pair of boots identical to the ones she was already wearing but a half-size larger and bought them and we got out of there.

Then there was fuming. That made the rest of our shopping so much fun!

Later that evening, when Elizabeth had gotten over the worst of her disappointment, we got into another squabble over some unrelated something. Since Elizabeth and I don’t usually squabble much at all, I’m pretty sure it was leftover grouchiness spilling over. At one point she actually frowned and declared, “Mom, you have spoiled me rotten and you’re just going to have to accept the consequences.”

I just sort of blinked and stared at her for a minute. Then I said, “You feel that I have spoiled you rotten?”

She shrugged in a rather cavalier fashion. “I’m a spoiled brat. It’s too late for me to change now. You’ll just have to get used to it.”

“Wow,” I replied. “Most eleven-year-olds, especially the spoiled brat variety, aren’t able to see that about themselves. I’m kind of impressed.”

The thing is…as eleven-year-olds go, I really think Elizabeth is near the lowish end of the brattiness scale. I mean, she has her moments, but I don’t know anyone who DOESN’T have the occasional moment, especially in that age bracket. And while she has most definitely inherited her father’s egocentric view of the world, I think for the most part she chooses to use it for good and not for evil.

And then sometimes she just digs her heels in and becomes the proverbial Immovable Object. Like with the parade float thing.

Around Easter our church’s youth music director put on a great production called “The Secret Of My Success.” Both Luke and Elizabeth had speaking parts and solo singing parts as well as singing with the group, and they both did really awesome. Now there’s another production in the works for July, and they were both given large speaking and singing parts. Which they were fine with, until they realized that being in the play meant that they’d also be riding, in full costume, on the church’s float in this year’s Anza Days parade. Elizabeth said she wasn’t going to be on the float, she was going to be on the sidelines watching the parade, and that was final. I told her that I’d be helping out with the float that day so if she was going to watch the parade it would have to be with her dad, and I do not know what his plans are for that day. She said she’d take her chances. No amount of discussion has changed her mind. Luke does what Elizabeth does, so if she isn’t going to be on the float then he doesn’t want to either.

Of course I could ORDER them to take the speaking parts and ride on the float, and they would do it, but that’s not the kind of parent I want to be. There would be no joy in the play for them or for me under those circumstances. So, as disappointed as I am that they won’t get to show off their acting talents this time, or ride in the parade, I’m not going to insist.

****************

And from the “What The Heck?” category, yesterday Elizabeth…wait, this one needs some backstory. Okay, a couple of weeks ago Elizabeth ate asphalt on her roller skates in a parking lot and got a big ugly scrape down one arm, near the elbow. Somehow THIS of all things is embarrassing for her, so for the past two weeks she’s been wearing long-sleeved shirts to school even on sweltering hot days so the other kids won’t see the scrape and ask questions.

So yesterday she wore a red shirt. While she was at school she cut out carefully-shaped pieces of paper and stapled them to the chest and sleeves of her shirt so that it looked something like this, but red:

startrekshirtcollage1.jpg

I just about fell out of the car laughing when she got off the bus wearing that. When I could breathe again I pointed out that she’d taken quite the risk, walking around in that shirt.

“I know,” she nodded philosophically. “I lived, though.”

****************

Ah, my girl. You are simpler and more complicated than Luke. You are simpler and more complicated than me. I’m pretty sure you’re more intelligent than I am, but so far I have the wisdom and experience on my side. I pray you’ll survive long enough to acquire them too.

But in the sweet name of basic self-preservation, leave the red shirts at home! There’s just no sense in tempting fate that way.

Categories: Artwork, Family, kids, Life, Star Trek | 7 Comments

Wordless Wednesday: A Frame From “Elizabeth And The Chocolate Factory”

chocfac

Categories: Artwork, Comics, Family, Humor, kids, Life, Wordless Wednesday | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.