Fall Stuff

Anza sits at 4,000 feet above sea level, so temperatures go up and down with the sun. In the summer it’s not uncommon to get into the triple digits during the days and down into the 50 or 60s at night. Winter nights there are always cold, but winter days might feel like January or July.

DFW isn’t like that, at least from what I’ve seen so far. Summer felt like summer, whether the sun was up or not. And now that the weather has turned to fall, it has stayed there instead of getting all fickle and whimsical. Now the colors are creeping in, and squirrels are gathering acorns everywhere I look.

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Signs of fall are all around.

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On weekday afternoons I like to go for walks. I take a slightly different route each time and explore new streets. I enjoy looking at the houses and businesses; I just really like the way things are built here. Someone told me that the reason most of the buildings have so many different angles on their roofs is to deflect high winds and make it harder for tornadoes to get a grip on them. Someone else told me that that’s not the case, that people here just like funky roofs. Whatever, I like them too.

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On yesterday’s walk I stumbled onto a dedicated system of walking and bike paths. I started out walking next to roads, but ended up on a trail that followed a line of massive power poles.

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At first all I could see was those enormous poles, but by the end of the walk I barely noticed them. They’re almost kind of pretty, if you squint and tilt your head just right.

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I’m looking forward to showing the kids those paths, it’ll be nice to have a trafficless place to walk that doesn’t involve driving first.

Tomorrow we set back the clocks. The spring time change feels like years ago on a different planet. So much change crammed into eight months.

I’ve begun to really miss my garden and orchard. Today I bought a young sage plant so I can have fresh sage for cooking; hopefully it will have time to get established before winter sets in. I think I’ll get some lettuce and kale seeds next, if the weather stays mild. It’s funny the things I miss and the things I don’t miss at all. If I could just find a local, organic pomegranate orchard my autumn would be complete.

Categories: Animals, environment, Family, food, Gardening, kids, Life, trees, Weather, Wildlife | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Progress and History

Mahogany’s training is coming along great. We even ventured out onto a paved road today, although we turned back when we came to a bridge with no pedestrian or bike lane. I want to be just a little surer of Mahogany’s cooperation before I ask her to dash over a bridge during a lull in traffic.

Wildlife encounters on today’s ride included this majestic fellow…

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…some cows that were too deep in the brush to photograph, and the free-roaming herd of horses.

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I think most of the livestock down there uses the river itself to get around the fences between properties. One of these days I’m going to figure out where they’re climbing up and down on the part where I ride, and maybe start exploring that way myself.

** ** **

My Texas driver’s license finally came in the mail. It was a hassle and a half to obtain, and I want to talk about that for a minute.

To get a Texas driver’s license, I needed my California license, my birth certificate, and my social security card. No problem. Except that the surname on my birth certificate is, of course, not the same surname as on my driver’s license. So I was also required to produce a certified marriage license or divorce decree.

Fine, whatever. Except that I don’t have a marriage license among my records, and California does not issue divorce decrees. The closest thing in my court records is a “Notice of Entry of Judgement,” which the California courthouse assured me is the same thing. So I paid $26 for a certified copy of that, and got it in the mail a few days later.

…Only to be told by the Texas Department of Public Safety (the department that issues driver’s licenses in Texas; their DMV is only for vehicle registration) that my document is insufficient because it doesn’t have my maiden name on it. I pointed out that even if it did, that still wouldn’t be the same same as what’s on my birth certificate, since I took my stepfather’s surname when my mom remarried. I said that both of the name changes are formally entered in my Social Security record. The TxDPS replied that they never use Social Security information for anything.

So I have to produce my Social Security card as proof of identification, but my actual Social Security record is of zero use to me in this process.

I explained to them that the 90 days in which I could legally continue to use my California license was almost up, and that NOT driving is not an option for me, and that I can’t possibly be the only divorced woman who has ever moved from California to Texas and needed a new driver’s license, and that there must be some way to make it happen.

They referred the matter to a higher-up, who actually researched the matter online, learned that California does not, in fact, issue divorce decrees, and decided to allow my Notice of Entry of Judgement as a valid document. I feel like it could have gone either way, which is unsetting.

All of this was still fresh in my mind yesterday when I watched a video of the appalling Daily Show interview that cost Don Yelton his job. If you haven’t seen it, basically Yelton proudly admits that one of the main purposes of dismantling the Voting Rights Act is to make it harder for Democrats to vote.

I try not to mix blogging and politics, but the hassle I went through to get a Texas driver’s license — which I assume is the same hassle I would have gone through to get any form of Texas ID that would allow me to vote — was due to a bit of red tape that applies ONLY to women, a demographic that is statistically more likely to vote Democrat. I can’t help but wonder how many other little bits of red tape are scattered throughout the process to make it harder for other target demographics to obtain a valid ID in Republican states.

** ** **

Most of the time, though, progress and history nestle comfortably together here. Texas is seeing an economic boom right now, and construction is going on everywhere. It’s fantastic that the infrastructure is being upgraded while the money is flowing, even if it makes driving around a little scarier in the meantime. But I like that while roads and bridges and buildings are being built or torn apart and reassembled, bits of the past are carefully left in place.

One of my favorite local examples of this is on Bedford Road. This is a pretty, suburban street lined with attractive residences, schools and businesses. It’s wide and well-groomed and parts of it smell distinctly of wealth. But tucked in amongst the houses and churches and shopping centers is this:

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The graves here are old, and the landscaping looks more like an untouched prairie meadow than a typical manicured cemetery lawn.

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And too many of the markers are tiny and sad.

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Gravestones for infants and children always make me want to cry. I can’t imagine the grief.

Next to the cemetery is a Civil War Veterans Memorial.

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I’ve spent most of my adult life in California, a state that wasn’t affected all that much by the Civil War. For me, it’s strange to think of having not-so-distant ancestors whose lives were torn apart by that conflict. The whole thing felt more real and personal as I read the names carved into the stones. Which I guess is the whole point of a memorial.

I like living in a place that remembers and preserves its past even while it reaches energetically toward the future. Texas’ forward progress isn’t always smooth, for sure. I suspect that my struggle to get a driver’s license here may be an indication of that. But DFW has something beautiful to see almost everywhere I look, and I think that says a lot about the people who live here.

I hope that they bring the best of the past into the future, and eventually leave the not-so-great bits behind.

Categories: Death, Horses, Life, trail rides, Wildlife | Tags: , | Leave a comment

The Power of Art

Neil Gaiman recently made a fantastic speech about why we read and why we write. I love to see these kinds of articles from my favorite authors, because they all essentially boil down to the same message: we read because it helps us to understand the world we live in and to envision a better kind of world. We write because we want to share what we’ve learned and to help other people along their journeys just like all those other authors helped us. We read because it changes us for the better, and we write because we want to pay it forward.

Here is an observation I have made about writers and other artists who have overcome personal hardships to become happy and successful: they want other people to be happy and successful too, but they understand that the path to happiness and success is an effortful and often grueling journey. They urge you to remember the lessons you have learned along the way, because to forget is to risk repeating your mistakes. They share the bits of wisdom that they have accumulated on their own journeys, because that’s what writers and artists do. Sharing what we’ve learned is a huge part of what drives us to create.

One of the first things that happened when my marriage ended five years ago was that I found some new (to me) blogs and started following them closely. They were mostly written by people who were struggling through personal hardships of one kind or another and trying to make sense of their experience. Reading their words of humor and rage and sorrow and joy helped me tremendously on my own journey. They made me feel less alone and offered new insights into my own experiences. Those bloggers made a positive difference in my life. They were a big part of my healing process. Most of them I don’t follow much anymore, just because my life and theirs have all changed over the years and their experiences don’t speak to my particular issues anymore. But I’m grateful that they’ve taken the time to share their journeys, and I know that their words still help a lot of people every day.

Most of the followers of my own blog are writers or artists of some kind, so I want to bring up something that for some reason is rarely addressed in “the value of self-expression through art and literature” essays.

No matter how large or small your audience is, there are always people who want to silence you. If you’re a writer or an artist who works from personal experience, you know the people I’m talking about. When you write or paint or sing about a hardship that taught you something they get angry, not about your ordeal but at you for talking about it. They usually couch their censorship in dishonest phrases: “Just let it go,” “move on already,” “that was the past, forget about it already” and so on, as if sharing what you’ve learned — as if fulfilling one of the most basic functions of being an artist — somehow means that you’re stuck in the past and unable to move forward. But like I said, it’s dishonest, because that’s not really what they’re angry about.

Happy, successful people never tell you to forget the past, because they know that remembering the lessons it taught is your best resource for wisdom, creativity and good judgement. And they never tell you to stop writing about it (or painting about it, or singing about it), because they know that the world becomes a better place one heartfelt insight at a time. If your art doesn’t speak to their interests they don’t make it a part of their lives, but it would probably never occur to them to tell you to stop making it. Censorship is the natural enemy of creativity and personal growth, and most artists intuitively understand that. Those people who are telling you to “Shut up and get over it” are not interested it your well-being. They operate within the system of dysfunction: they are either exploiters who don’t want your art to empower their victims, or they are exploitees who have become so entrenched in their victimhood that being encouraged to break free and take control of their own lives feels threatening and hostile. (Or, in rare cases, they have never experienced true hardship and don’t understand how healing and growth work. Don’t envy them; when their turn inevitably comes they are tragically unprepared. If they’re fortunate, they will discover the value and power of art when they’re reaching for a lifeline on the way down.)

So this message is for everyone out there who creates art as a way to work through difficult experiences or to share what they’ve learned with others: don’t listen to the people who try to convince you that the “healthy” way to deal with your experience is to pretend it never happened. Their intent is the opposite of their words. They don’t want success stories or the sharing of lessons. Censorship breeds ignorance, and ignorance makes people gullible and easy to manipulate. There’s a reason why art and censorship are natural enemies.

So keep telling your stories and keep making your art. The people who try to convince you that it’s unhealthy are putting their own unhealth on display. (And don’t try to silence them, of course. It’s important for people to learn to recognize dysfunction when they are exposed to it. By all means, call them on it if you’re so inclined, but remember that censorship of all kinds creates more victims than it protects.)

Somewhere out there is someone who needs to hear your story. Go tell it loud and clear.

Categories: Artwork, books, Fiction | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Look At Me, I’m A Spider!

The river trail where I ride Mahogany is quite the safari adventure. On yesterday’s ride we saw cows…

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…and a llama.

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I’ve actually seen the llama before. There’s a bridge that crosses the Trinity not far from where I keep Mahogany, and I was driving across it one day and glanced down and saw a group of horses and the llama hanging out in the river. Appparently they just roam free down there.

The weather was glorious this weekend, so the kids and I decided to explore more of Colleyville. We started out at an antique store, which had some pretty cool stuff. Texans like their taxidermied animal parts, yo. And Elizabeth spread a little holiday cheer:

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That’s my girl. (And if you don’t get the joke, it’s referencing this.)

Okay, this is terrifying, right? It’s not just me?

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Stuff of nightmares right there.

After the antique store we wandered around near the library, just because we like the way the buildings look in that area.

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Found some random donkeys.

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Then we found a park and explored that. It has a playground with this amazing thing like a giant spherical spiderweb. The kids and I reverted to age 12 and frolicked for a while.

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The whole park is really nice.

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We were walking around the pond and I saw what looked like the body of a dead snake in the grass. The scene went something like, “Oh look, a snake! Oh, it’s dead. Is it dead? It looks dead.” [Nudge snake with toe of shoe, snake doesn’t move.] “No, it’s dead. It — holy crap, it’s moving!” [Fumble for camera as disgruntled snake heaves irritable sigh and slithers into the water.]

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Sorry for being a jerk, snake dude. I thought you were dead.

I read somewhere that DFW is the one place in the United States where you are most likely to be impacted by a natural disaster. Hurricanes, tornadoes, hail, floods, wind, everything but earthquakes. I’m probably jinxing myself, but aside from the summer heat and a few inconveniently-timed thunderstorms I’ve seen nothing but beautiful weather here. Have I just not been here long enough? Is the winter dark and full of terrors? Guess I’ll find out soon enough.

Categories: Animals, Family, Horses, kids, Life, trail rides, Weather, Wildlife | 2 Comments

Suddenly: Autumn

The weather here has turned to fall. It rains at least once a week, usually on the weekends. This is mildly frustrating, because weekends are when the kids and I do our exploring, and we’ve been mostly limited to indoor stuff for awhile now.

Elizabeth and I went to see “Gravity,” and liked it a lot. If you haven’t seen it, and plan to, do see it in 3D. This movie is all about the visual spectacle, it’s incredibly immersive.

As we were walking from the parking lot to the theater entrance, I had a déjà vu moment. I stopped and looked around, trying to figure out why I felt like I’d been to that theater before (I hadn’t), and then I realized that it wasn’t the theater I recognized but the Italian restaurant next to it. The kids and I had met up with friends there for dinner on our road trip in 2007, and had a fantastic time. Got a nice little rush of nostalgia looking at it.

So, speaking of restaurants, this seems like a good time to mention that I have a very minor complaint about Texas, or at least my little corner of it. The Chinese food. It is not like California Chinese food. I’m not saying it’s better or worse, it’s just not what I’m used to. Okay, it’s worse. There, I said it. I miss orange chicken that tastes right and has the right texture.

But! Elizabeth and I tried Genghis Grill after our movie, and that was great. Does Genghis Grill count as Asian food? What I like about it is that I can put together the kind of meal I used to eat fresh from the garden back in Anza, and then someone else cooks it for me. Sweet!

Mahogany’s winter coat is growing in dark and glossy. I’m surprised at how well she’s doing just on pasture grass and coastal hay. No alfalfa, no grain, but she’s shiny and bursting with energy.

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On our last ride we were accosted near the river trail by a wandering-loose group of horses.

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Sorry for the blurry, they caught me by surprise.

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Oddly enough, Mahogany wanted nothing to do with them. She just wanted to get back to her own buddies in her own pasture. I shooed the strange horses off, and they left us alone.

We’re still working on Mahogany’s reluctance to leave her herd-mates. I mean, I’m glad that she loves her new home and her new friends, but her unwillingness to EVER leave them is getting tiresome. It would be easier if we could find someone to ride with, but so far I haven’t seen any other riders out on the trails.

I don’t have any wildlife pics for this post, but I did see the biggest coyote I have ever seen a couple weeks ago. I was driving and didn’t have time to whip out my camera, but this guy was huge. Living large on suburban life, I guess.

The DFW area is such a beautiful paradox. I love that it looks like this…

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…and this…

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…and this…

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…and this.

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I love the laid-back, down-to-earth vibe, and the fact that jeans, boots and tee-shirts are considered perfectly fashionable attire here. I love that most of the people, including the teens I’ve seen at my kids’ new schools, actually make an effort to look clean and wholesome rather than sexy or dangerous. I love how friendly nearly everyone is.

If I could just get some decent orange chicken here, this place would be pretty close to perfect.

Categories: Animals, Family, food, Horses, kids, Life, Road trip, trail rides, Weather, Wildlife | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

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