I almost decided not to post this one to my public blog, but it’s about a fairly large change in my life so this seems like the right place for it.
I’ve decided to take a break from church. In the past eight months or so there’s been an almost complete turnover in ministry leaders and staff, and the goals and methods and priorities of the new folks don’t really resonate with what I thought this little fellowship was supposed to be about. This is becoming more and more the case as time goes on — and they seem to be even more uncomfortable with me than I am with them.
Silver and gold have I none, and such as I have seems to be of no value to these new leaders. They’ve made that painfully clear in a multitude of ways that bear pretty much no resemblance to Christian love.
Sorry if I sound bitter. Maybe I am, a little. I’ll get over it.
For a long time I kept going to church anyway; partly because I felt loyal to Pastor Bill and really enjoyed his sermons, partly because I do still have friends there that I will miss visiting with every week, partly because Luke and Elizabeth enjoyed attending the Children’s Church and have friends of their own there, but mostly because I could not for the life of me figure out why these people do not like me. Unfinished lessons have a way of following you around from one situation to the next until you learn them, so I really wanted to know what the problem was before I moved on.
I don’t drink, smoke, gamble (unless the occasional game of bunco counts), sleep around or use drugs. I have mostly broken the profanity habit I picked up during my marriage. I am kind and friendly to people. I am not competitive or malicious or dishonest. I was very willing and eager to offer my time and energy to the various ministries until the people running them put all that effort into making me feel so unwelcome there. But such relentless alienation has to have SOME reason behind it, and I was determined to stick it out until I’d unraveled the mystery.
Which I finally have.
But that’s another post.