You Can Have My Waffles When You Pry Them Out Of My Cold Dead Fingers

I think I may have developed some sort of wheat allergy, or possibly adult-onset celiac disease. I’m having all sorts of annoying symptoms that I’ve just realized only seem to show up when I eat wheat products. It is inconvenient, because I still have most of a rather expensive 50-lb sack of whole wheat berries sitting in my pantry, and also because I REALLY LOVE WHEAT PRODUCTS. I mean, how do you make waffles without wheat? How do you make PIZZA without wheat??

And frankly, a life without waffles or pizza does not bear dwelling upon.

So I am hoping that it’s something else. I shall stop eating wheat…any day now…and if the itchy rash, the headaches, and the, um, digestive difficulties go away, then I’ll officially know the culprit is wheat.

I’m sort of hoping that they don’t, though. Because then I can try giving up something else that I don’t love quite so much, and enjoy my beloved wheat products with unfettered abandon. Seriously, I would rather be allergic to BEEF or GARLIC or freaking ICE CREAM than wheat.

I mean, this is AMERICA. I’m pretty sure that waffles are one of the basic constitutional rights.

Categories: food, Health, Life | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “You Can Have My Waffles When You Pry Them Out Of My Cold Dead Fingers

  1. kendall

    try potatoe flour? there’s lots of wheat gluten allergy issues to go along with dairy.


  2. Debora

    Yeah…there’s a ton of gluten-free options out there now, but I can’t afford to get too fancy with my food shopping. If I do turn out to have a gluten allergy I’ll try substituting oat flour first and see if that’s safe; it has only a small amount of gluten and I have a 50# sack of oat groats in my pantry that I would hate to not be able to use.


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