Star Trek

Gardening, Carpet Plague, Calves and Music

I know, I’ve abandoned my poor blog again. Life is simultaneously busy and tranquil — my favorite combination! — and I haven’t felt the need to write in a while.

This time of year gardening takes up most of my time. One of the biggest reasons I’m shifting my focus to edible perennials is so I won’t have this frenzy of replanting every spring, but of course in the short-term it makes my spring even busier as I create new permanent beds and put in asparagus, sunchokes, currants, a bay tree, various perennial herbs and some unidentified “berry” bramble suckers someone gave me that I think are blackberries. But the strawberry bed I put in last spring is producing in grand style this year, and Saturday I enjoyed the first ripe strawberry of spring, and there’s a gazillion more coming along behind it. So that’s a good reminder that the results are totally worth all the work involved, even if it takes a while to see them.

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Another thing that’s been gobbling up a ridiculous amount of my time is The Battle Of The Creeping Spot.

Dude.

So three or four weeks ago our cats suddenly decided to spurn their litter box in favor of one corner of my computer room floor. We’re talking deep plush carpeting here, not some easy-to-clean laminate or hardwood. I ungraciously disposed of the piles of poop, but it gradually became evident that the real problem was the steadily-intensifying aroma of Eau de Cat Pee. I took way longer than I should have to attend to that (see: spring planting time, above), but finally one day I attacked that corner of the carpet with everything I could think to throw at it. Rug shampoo, spot cleaner, pure baking soda, a special “pet stain” removal product, the works.

The next morning that corner of my (very orange) carpet had turned a dark purple.

Clearly something had gone very wrong here.

I went back over the corner with more spot cleaner, and when that didn’t get rid of it I tried putting laundry detergent into my rug shampooer, and then I tried diluted dishsoap and then I just went over and over it with plain water until it was mostly gone.

But the next day The Spot was back, and twice its previous size.

I won’t go into all the tedious details of this battle. Suffice it to say that for nearly two weeks I used almost every cleaning product I could think of on this spreading purple abomination, alone or in combinations, and some days I would win and other days the Spot would win. It was like something out of Dr. Seuss, but evil. At its largest it was about six feet in diameter, and I was doing a pretty convincing Lady Macbeth impersonation.

Guess what the culprit was. Go ahead, guess!

Give up? It was the baking soda. Apparently when you put baking soda on my orange carpet and then get it wet, there’s some sort of freak chemical reaction that causes a dark purple stain to appear.

Guess how I finally figured this out.

It looked like I had just about defeated The Spot, there was only the faintest shadow left and I was confident that another hour or so of going over it with clear water would finish it off. But by then the carpet was beginning to smell just a bit mildewy, and I decided that the whole room could stand a nice deodorizing.

So, I filled my rug shampooer’s receptacle with clear water and a little baking soda, went over the whole room, and then focused on the spot in the corner — shaking some more baking soda directly onto it and scrubbing it in — until it appeared to be vanquished.

The next morning my entire computer room carpet was covered with purple smudges and the original corner was a solid, hateful dark purple swath.

I was ready to burn it.

Instead I spent most of another week going over and over the carpet, sucking all the baking soda out of it. As I type this I think I have just gotten the last of it out, but I won’t know for sure until tomorrow morning.

The good news is that the cats appear to have lost interest in recontaminating the war zone.

Or possibly they’re just waiting for the carpet to finally dry out so they can start over.

BUT my computer room doesn’t smell mildewy today, it smells WONDERFUL, because yesterday Luke and Elizabeth gave me the best Mother’s Day gifts I have ever received. They made them in Sunday school. They are apples with lots and lots of cloves stuck into them and silk ribbons tied around them to hang them with, and now as I write this the air is perfumed with the heady scent of apples and cloves. I LOVE it!

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In other news, a third calf has been born at Trinity. I need to buy some livestock panels so I can set the branding pen back up and set a date for my summer roundup. I may also spring for a calf table, since none of my new friends know how to rope (and neither do I) and it seems like a useful thing to have anyway if one isn’t of the Large Strapping Male persuasion.

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Speaking of things my new friends don’t know, they are also all tragically unacquainted with the awesome thing of immortal beauty that is Star Trek. Not a single Trek fan in the entire bunch (except for Pastor Bill who can’t go see the new movie with me because he’s married and that would be a little odd). Hello, this is CULTURE, people!! I was going to have to go see the movie all by myself, but my friend Jenny took pity on me and agreed to go with. So I think that’ll be Thursday. I can’t wait!

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Being a part of my church worship group remains one of the brightest joys of my new life. It’s amazing how fundamental singing with friends apparently is to my general sense of fulfillment. I don’t imagine that I’ll let anyone take that away from me ever again.

The group is still kind of finding itself. We had a magical combination for a while — two guitars, bass, drummer, three vocalists — and it was heaven. But then we lost our best guitarist and our male vocalist within a couple weeks of each other, and we’re feeling the loss. But there’s this nice sense of fellowship among the rest of us, a sweet sort of feeling that we’re all in it for the long haul and that one way or another the people we need will find us and the group will eventually be complete again, and meanwhile we still have this wonderful core group of friends to sing and play and worship with.

Tell you what though, last time we sang in church it was a train wreck. There’s a young boy who is learning to play the bongos, and from time to time he likes to join the group onstage. It’s not been a problem before, but this last time two things went wrong. One, the bongos had just been tightened so they were louder than usual, and two, he set them up between the drummer and our remaining guitarist, so they couldn’t hear each other well enough to stay in synch. It…wasn’t pretty. We have learned our lesson. Bongo Boy is still welcome to play with us, but from now on he goes down at the other end by the vocalists.

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I wanted to talk about how the Sunday school teaching thing is going, but I think that’s going to get its own post somewhere down the road.

So I guess that’s it for now. Life in my little green corner of the world is blooming, and keeping me busy. If that Spot is still gone tomorrow morning I will have nothing much to complain about.

If it’s back I may have to rethink my decision to give up profanity, because I have nothing else left to throw at the blasted thing.

Categories: Animals, Cats, Christianity, Edible Perennials, food, Friends, Gardening, kids, Life, Self-Sufficiency, Star Trek | 6 Comments

Contributing To The Geekiness Of Minors, Part 2

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Back in November I confessed my decision to introduce Luke and Elizabeth to that nerdalicious pinnacle of geekdom, the Star Trek franchise. I’d added Season One of the original series to our Netflix queue, and we’ve gradually been working our way through them, averaging three or four episodes a week.

It had been more than 20 years since the last time I’d watched this first incarnation of the Trek universe, and I’m surprised at how much I’m enjoying its cheesy campiness from the perspective of an old grup. Luke likes it too, although he has trouble keeping up with the plots and tends to ask questions all the way through, which necessitates heavy use of the Pause button as I attempt to explain stuff to him. Elizabeth doesn’t have any trouble following the storylines, but since most of them don’t make a whole lot of sense if you examine them too closely (seriously, there are usually OBVIOUS SOLUTIONS to these people’s problems that are WAY LESS COMPLICATED than the ones the writers come up with), she is rather less enamored of the whole business than we are. But we watch it together, and somewhere in between trying to explain to Luke how Kirk is able to talk a master supercomputer into self-destructing for the good of the population it’s been controlling, and snarking with Elizabeth about the EXTREME improbability of that ever actually happening, it’s become a happy addition to our nightly routine. Elizabeth has started slipping little Trekisms into her conversations and comics. And a week or so ago I poked my head into Luke’s room and told him that if he didn’t get up and get dressed we were going to miss the school bus, to which he replied, half-awake, “But I am extraordinarily sleepy.”

Sniffle. My son has a little Vulcan in him after all. TOTALLY worth all the wedgies he’s going to get in middle school for using words like “extraordinarily.”

So now we’re coming to the end of Season 1, and I just hopped over to Netflix to add Season 2. Only to discover that Netflix doesn’t HAVE Season 2. Or Season 3. Like a heroin pusher who offers the first couple of doses for free and then cuts off the supply until the cash appears, Netflix is forcing me to either give up my new addiction family activity or hand over a pile of money to Amazon, which I SO can’t afford to do right now. It’s MONSTROUS, I tell you.

Not that I couldn’t quit any time I wanted, mind you. There are PLENTY OF OTHER geeky shows out there with which to blight my children’s social prospects. Get Smart comes to mind; the kids would adore that.

Pfah. Who am I kidding? There is no substitute for the Holy Grail of geeky goodness.

Hmm…Circuit City is going out of business, I bet I could score some Trek on Clearance there.

And after all, it’s for the children.

Categories: Family, Humor, kids, Life, Star Trek | 11 Comments

Contributing To The Geekiness Of Minors

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One of my very favorite times of day has always been that magical pause in the evenings when the kids and I snuggle up on the sofa for storytime. This has been a treasured part of my life since Elizabeth was a baby and we used to curl up every night in the big cozy rocking chair together and read Babybug magazine or one of her chunky board books.

Alas, time marches on. My kids are eight and ten now, and no longer content to let me read a story to them chapter by chapter. We’ll start a new book — say, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory — and I’ll read Chapter 1, and they like it…so by the time the next night rolls around they’re both halfway through the book and fidgeting restlessly because they’re way past the part I’m reading to them.

As much as I love storytime, even I finally had to admit that maybe they’ve just outgrown it.

But how to get my nightly fix of snuggle time without sharing a book? I pondered this dilemma and realized that I didn’t necessarily have to give up storytime. Stories come in many different forms, after all. On dvd’s, for instance. I’d shared most of my favorite childhood books with them, maybe now it was time to start sharing my favorite old tv series, one episode per night.

So then it was just a matter of deciding which show to start with. I can’t wait to introduce Elizabeth to the Gilmore Girls, but she’s a bit too young to really appreciate it yet. Same with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Veronica Mars. Luke will LOVE The Wild Wild West (the original series, not the lame movie)…in about five years. So where to begin right now?

You know where this is going. That holy grail of geekdom: Star Trek.

I actually gave some serious thought to whether I even wanted to introduce them to this show at all, ever. I mean, in this day and age it’s tantamount to making your kid take accordion lessons, right? Just give him a bad haircut and a pocket protector and be done with it already.

In the end, I couldn’t help myself. Resistance is futile. The next generation must be assimilated into the collective. I added The Original Series to my Netflix queue and when the first disk arrived we popped it in.

Observations:

1. It had been more than 20 years since I’d seen a full episode of ST:TOS.

2. This was the cheesiest. show. ever.

3. Both kids are mesmerized by its colorful, hypnotic cheesiness.

4. It helped that they were already familiar with the basic concept thanks to our fabulous deck of Blogography playing cards.

5. The kids’ preliminary consensus is that Captain Kirk is “tricksy.” And they’re fascinated by the fact that the turbolift can move in any direction.

6. Shatner’s line delivery is hardly mockable at all in these first few episodes. I guess it wasn’t until the show gained an audience and success went straight to his head that he started milking every syllable for all it was worth.

7. I’m glad I decided to do this. I mean, sure, I’m dooming Luke and Elizabeth to a desolate existence on the geeky fringes of social acceptability, and torpedoing any chance that the cool kids will ever talk to them, but hey, that 45 minutes of basking in the warm glow of nostalgia every night makes it all totally worth it. You know, to me. They can thank me later.

Happy Love Thursday, everyone. Live long and prosper, and don’t forget: infinite diversity in infinite combinations!

Because popularity is totally overrated, right?

Categories: books, Family, kids, Life, Love, Star Trek | 5 Comments

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