Ranching

Roundup Part 2: Short And Sweet

When you have a roundup to work a total of three calves, the preparation takes longer than the actual job.

Brooke hauled Stormy and Mahogany to Trinity for me in Doc’s rig, since I haven’t driven a truck in over fifteen years (Steve never let me drive any of his), and I don’t think I’ve EVER driven a truck that was pulling anything. Doc and his two cowboy friends had just finished setting up the corral when we got there. Then Brooke took my car to her house just up the road to pick up two of her kids, and got back around the same time John and Raeanna arrived.

Bringing in the herd took the longest. They were Resistant to being corralled, and we only had five horses, and Mahogany hasn’t had much practice with cows so she wasn’t terribly helpful.

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But eventually we got ’em in.

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Turned out we actually had four calves, but the newest one was only a few days old and too little to really torment yet, so we’ll brand and castrate him next time. He was just the right size to help John get a feel for calf-handling, though.

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I love the smell of burning cowhide in the morning!

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Castrating turned out to be messier yet less nauseating than I’d expected. OF COURSE I had my first effort thoroughly recorded for posterity. Here’s one of the less-gruesome pics:

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When we were all done one of Doc’s friends entertained us with rope tricks.

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Then we loaded up the steer and the horses and headed home, where Brooke and I got the steer ensconced in his fattening pen. Poor guy misses his buddies.

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And that was my very first roundup as Sole-Herd-Owner-Person. I could not have done it alone, and my heartfelt thanks go out to the folks who helped make it happen. Everyone seemed to have a good time, and they all said they wanted to come back for the next one, so I think this cow business thing is looking absolutely doable. I want to buy my own corral panels so I don’t have to keep borrowing Doc’s, and I need to practice driving a truck and trailer rig so I can haul my own horses, but those things are also doable. I mean, if I’ve learned nothing else this past year I’ve learned that with God ALL things are possible.

Life feels pretty good right now.

And now I need a shower.

Categories: Animals, Christianity, Friends, Horses, Life, Ranching | 3 Comments

Roundup Part 1: Amazing Grace

A cattle roundup is a fairly simple thing to organize, if you have the manpower and resources and skills available. You set a date, tell your friends, and when the day arrives you usually end up with more help than you need: riders, ropers, sorters, muggers, castraters, branders, cowboys, people who like to play cowboy…it’s almost more of a social get-together than a job, and everyone mostly shows up for the fun.

Of course, if you have just spend the past year of your life starting over almost from scratch, and none of your new friends have ever thrown a rope or castrated a calf — and neither have you — then a cattle roundup becomes not such a simple thing to organize. In fact it becomes A Tad Complicated.

I had offers of help from my friends, and I deeply appreciate that, but how do you catch and hold down a calf without ropers? Well, you can buy a calf table, unless your car happens to suddenly die and require over $900 worth of resuscitation. Yarg. Also, if you understand the process of calf castration but have never actually done it yourself, how do you know for sure that you won’t throw up and/or pass out halfway through the procedure? And, oh yeah, how do you even get your horses to the event if you don’t own a trailer or a truck that will pull one? Then there’s the matter of a corral. You can’t have a cattle roundup without a corral to round them up into, and Steve had taken most of the livestock panels with him, and I couldn’t find anyone with used panels to sell, and new ones cost $140 for a ten or twelve foot section. That would add up to roughly a gazillion dollars, which I didn’t have (see: car repair bill, above).

If I let myself think too much about all this stuff I might have started worrying that it wasn’t going to work out at all, but fretting about that sort of thing is a total waste of energy. All I could do was commend the whole matter into God’s hands and trust that things would happen the way He wanted them to. I was just AWARE of the issues, is all I’m saying.

In mid-May I approached a horse vet who goes to my church, an incredibly nice fellow who had come out and treated my horses in the past. I didn’t really know him socially but I figured as a vet he’d at least be able to give me a hands-on tutorial in calf castration, if he were so inclined. So I asked him, if he were theoretically invited to a roundup, would that be just another day at the office for him or would it be something he’d enjoy? His face lit up, he said he LOVED doing that stuff, and that if I needed any other skilled help he could bring some more friends. I said I could really use a header and a heeler (cow jargon for two different kinds of roping skills), and he said they’d be there and what day was the roundup? I told him I’d hoped to wait until all six calves had been born, but that I might not be able to because the firstborn was getting so big. He said no problem, we could have one roundup now and another one later on and that way we could have twice the fun. Also, as it turned out, he had a pile of spare corral panels that he’d be happy to bring over and set up for the day.

I was SO FREAKING GRATEFUL, but he very graciously acted like I was doing him and his friends the favor of having them out, so I couldn’t even feel awkward about accepting all that help.

A few days later I got a message from the Doc’s secretary: he and his friends would be available to come out on June 6th, and did that work for me? It worked perfectly for me, but most of my other friends couldn’t make it that day. I decided that in this particular case I should probably accommodate the doc, and I’d schedule my next roundup far enough in advance that everyone else who wanted to come could be there.

That only left the matter of getting my horses to the roundup site, then getting them AND a steer back to my place afterward (the steer was coming home for fattening and slaughter). This would require the use of a large stock trailer with a center divider: we could put the horses in the front section and the steer in the back. I mentioned this need to a woman from my church who was helping me through the ridiculously complicated process of filing for divorce, and she immediately picked up the phone, called a friend of hers who lives in my general area, then hung up and announced, “Okay, we’ve got the trailer, now we just need a truck.” She was already dialing a new number; this time she was calling Geoff, the new guitarist in our worship group (I’ve been corrected on the spelling of his name). She basically told him that he and his truck would be hauling some livestock for me on June 6th. He had already promised to come and help with the calves if it was on a day he was free, so I wasn’t too awfully horrified by this casual drafting of resources…just mildly taken aback. But when I saw him the next day at a meeting he’d remembered that he had a previous commitment on the 6th. He said we were welcome to use his truck, he just wouldn’t be available to drive it, and while we were working out the logistics of that the Doc mentioned that HE had just the sort of stock trailer I needed, and I was welcome to use it AND his truck since he would be using other vehicles to get his panels and horses to the roundup.

The grace of God and the goodness of people absolutely blow my mind sometimes.

Next: the big day!

Categories: Animals, Christianity, Friends, Horses, Life, Ranching | 4 Comments

Lost Stuff

Pastor Bill expressed some disappointment that I haven’t blogged about a funny incident that happened earlier this week. I don’t blog about every little thing, particularly the ones that are EMBARRASSING and make me look like a complete ditz, and also “funny” is such a subjective concept, but I suppose this story is blogworthy by association with larger events. So.

I guess it really begins in March, the day before the kids and I left for our Disneyland trip. It was a Sunday, and after church we drove out to the Trinity pasture like we always do to check on the cows. It was a chilly day and the kids wanted to stay in the car, so I hiked off into the pasture alone to search for The Mighty Herd.

When I found them they moved off like they always do, but I had time for a head count. I came up one head short: the smaller of my two yearling steers was missing. And his mom was hollering for him at the top of her lungs, all wide-eyed and disgruntled.

I waited for him to hear her calling and wake up from his nap somewhere and trot out of the brush, but he never did. Very odd. He was a year old or nearly so; too big for coyotes to mess with. Besides, there was no sign of vultures or ravens or any others of nature’s cleaning crew. But if he was anywhere in the pasture and able to respond to that bellowing from his mother, he would have.

So I had a missing steer. Had someone stolen him? He was still small enough to load into a pickup truck; a rustler wouldn’t even really need a trailer for him. The pasture gate was locked and supposedly the only two people that have keys are me and the Trinity caretaker, but Steve could have easily made himself another copy before he gave me his. I had had a rather difficult week with Steve, so this possibility presented itself fairly easily to my mind. He has friends who could put a fat steer to good use, most of whom wouldn’t trouble themselves much about where it came from.

On the way home I called Steve as usual to tell him that I’d be dropping the kids off with him in a few minutes. I mentioned the missing steer and asked if he knew anything about it, and he said no. Then I said that I’d have to make a police report about the incident and he completely FREAKED OUT. Started yelling about how hopelessly crazy I am and blah blah blah, and generally making himself look very guilty. So I told him that I’d be out of town for two days with the kids, and maybe the steer would find its way home again while I was gone, and then I could be spared the trouble of getting the police involved.

The following Wednesday I went back to Trinity to see if the prodigal steer had returned. But this time there were vultures, and his body wasn’t hard to find. Or his skeleton I should say; he’d been completely cleaned out by then.

So now I was left wondering: what had happened here? An act of nature? An act of spite? There was no way to know for sure. I decided to do nothing for the time being, because it’s not unheard of to lose a yearling steer to a pack of dogs or a cougar or somesuch. But this was the first time it had happened in all the time we’d been keeping cows here, and I resolved that if it happened again I would go on the legal warpath.

About three weeks ago the first calf of spring arrived. I started going out to check on the herd two and three times a week, to keep an eye on the rest of the moms-to-be and to make sure that nothing had befallen the new baby. A week ago I got there and found two pickups parked right next to the fence. A search of the pasture didn’t turn up the owners, but it did turn up a newborn calf, the second arrival. I took photos of the new calf and the slighter-older calf, and — just to be on the safe side — the license plates of the two trucks. Then I drove back to the church, where Luke and Elizabeth were rehearsing for a spring performance with the kids’ program. When the rehearsal was over we drove back to the pasture just to put my mind at ease.

The two trucks were gone. And so was the calf, apparently.

My mind was not put at ease. I was in fact Concerned.

The only reason I didn’t call the police right then was because the new mama wasn’t hollering. She moved away from me and rejoined the herd, but in a nonchalant sort of way. So, okay. They like to hide their calves for the first few days. It was probably fine.

I went back the next day. Missing calf still missing. Mama’s udder very very full. But still no bellowing or any other sign of upset. Decided to give it a few more days.

Didn’t get out to the pasture the following day, but the day after that I was in town for my weekly counseling session with Pastor Bill. When we finished talking I told him I had to head out to his neck of the woods to check on a calf, and asked him if he wanted to see The Mighty Herd. He said sure, and followed me out to Trinity.

The cows were grazing near the fence, and the missing calf was right there with them, dozing near its half-sister. Whew! We walked over and admired them until they got restless and started to move away, and then I did a quick head count.

“Eleven,” I frowned. “There should be twelve.”

“Which one’s missing?” the Pastor asked.

“I’m not sure…it’s probably one of the cows off calving somewhere. Let me get to higher ground…” I jogged off to a little hill, but didn’t see any other cows.

“There’s only twelve,” the Pastor pointed out when I got back. “Can’t you just immediately know who’s missing?”

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Let’s see…white cow’s here, half-Watusi’s here, Luke’s cow, Elizabeth’s cow, the two black ones…you know what? See that big rock over there on that little hill?”

“Where?”

“Way over there next to that big manzanita tree. When I stand on that rock I can see the whole pasture. Feel like taking a walk?”

“Um..not really wearing the right shoes for this, but…okay…”

Off we set, me going over and over the roll call in my head. About halfway to the big rock I stopped in my tracks, absolutely mortified.

“What?”

“I…ah…forgot to subtract for the steer that died last month. There are only eleven.”

Embarrassing? Oh yes. But WAIT, there’s MORE!

So we get back to our cars, and I reach for my keys which are clipped to my belt loop.

Or were.

Somehow the snap has failed me and my keys have fallen off.

Somewhere in a 150-acre pasture that we had just wandered all over searching for A Phantom Cow.

Oh yes indeedy.

I told the Pastor that he should just get back to his busy schedule and I would find the keys, but like a true gentleman he insisted on staying to help me look. It took a while. While we were searching, Trinity’s caretaker showed up to make my mortification complete.

We did find the keys though. So, you know, yay. Happy ending, I guess.

Yeah, this is one of those stories that never would have seen the light of day if there hadn’t been witnesses. With some sort of misguided affinity for Full Blogging Disclosure.

Let’s all move on now.

Categories: Animals, Friends, Humor, Life, Ranching | Leave a comment

Wordless Wednesday: First Arrivals

[Okay, a few words today: sorry about the poor photo quality. I had to zoom WAY in to get these pics, because mom cows get all weird about anyone getting too close to their babies. That’s a Good Thing…unless you’re trying to take a decent photo.]

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Categories: Animals, Life, Ranching, Wordless Wednesday | 2 Comments

So Am I Officially Old Now?

If I have to turn 40, y’all have to hear about it.

It’s been said that life begins at 40, so it seems kind of appropriate that my birthday fell on Easter Sunday this year. The kids and I began the day at a sunrise service in Aguanga, and the ancient and forever-fresh Easter messages of salvation and joy and victory over darkness suited my frame of mind perfectly.

Later there was the regular church service, which was wonderful, and then an Easter egg hunt there on the grounds for the kids, and then we drove over to the Trinity pasture to check on the new baby (first calf of spring, about two weeks old now and doing great!), and then Luke and Elizabeth went to see their dad and I spent a couple hours down in the garden planting stuff and preparing some new beds and rejoicing over the latest new seedlings (and bulblings and crownlings) (it’s my day, they’re words if I want them to be) pushing their way up into the sunshine. Because there was also lots of warm sunshine today, for the first time in about a week, which just goes to show that Mother Nature can appreciate a birthday as well as anyone. So basically I celebrated my 40th year of bornfulness by doing most of my favorite stuff and surrounded by most of my favorite people (at least the local ones), and it was good.

There’s a bunch of philosophical stuff I wanted to put into this post, but now I’m thinking that that subject is going to run really long so I’m going to save it for another entry. But there WILL be navel-gazing, oh yes indeed. I just happen to be so spastic on Easter-candy-overdose right now that I’m seeing two navels, and that can’t be good for waxing philosophical if one wishes to be taken seriously.

And I’m a middle-aged grup now. I DEMAND to be taken seriously! Get off my lawn, you damn kids!

Wait. I’ve resolved to stop using profanity now that I’ve left my tempestuous youth behind.

Get off my lawn, you darn kids. Please. Thank you. Have a cookie.

I don’t actually have a lawn, of course.

I have cookies though. I’m having cookies right now. They have jelly beans on them.

I think I may possibly have three navels. {twitch}

This calls for another round of chocolate eggs….

Categories: Birthdays, Gardening, kids, Life, Ranching, Weather | 5 Comments

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