kids

Moving On

Sorry about the long absence. Been dealing with some life changes, and apparently the first thing to go was my usually compulsive need to write.

With crushing irony in light of last month’s romantic marital musings, Steve and I have separated. It wasn’t any lack of love that ended the marriage; we were just too different. Different goals, different values, different interests. During our almost-twelve years of wedlock both of us compromised and sacrificed so much of ourselves to make the marriage work, that by the end we both felt like we’d lost touch with who we really were. Letting go of the struggle was almost a relief.

It was all as amicable as a breakup can possibly be. He kept what was important to him and I kept what was important to me; there was no overlap, nothing we both wanted enough to argue over. That’s a sort of sad commentary in itself, I suppose.

I love this house and Steve doesn’t much care where he lives as long as there’s room for his band equipment, so I stayed here and he moved back in with his parents a quarter-mile up the road. They seem happy to have him: the prodigal son, back safe where he belongs at last. The kids took it hardest, but we’ve made it as easy as possible for them and they seem to be adjusting well.

I could go on and on about all the effort that went into this marriage and why it ultimately failed, but…I don’t feel like it.

So. Moving on.

To celebrate my birthday I did something that I was never able to do with the city-phobic Steve: I took the kids to visit one of my favorite old stomping grounds, the Mission Avenue part of Riverside. I used to live on the corner of 7th and Locust, within walking distance of the library and museums and everything, and my memories of that area are warm.

We started the day with a climb up Mt. Rubidoux. The weather was gorgeous, and all the winter rain made the scenery a lot greener than usual. The Santa Ana riverbed wound lush and verdant alongside the city’s edge, looking nothing like its usual sandy deserty self.

We took the “down road” up. Steeper, but shorter.

The cross at the summit. Its sheer size never comes across in photos:

The view from the top:

The Friendship Tower and Peace Bridge:

Elizabeth likes livin’ on the edge. In each of the next three pics, she is inches away from bone-breaking drops:

At the base of the cross:

On the way down we skipped the roads and took a footpath:

Our next stop was the Riverside Marketplace. We wandered through all the beautiful shops, and picked up some fun trinkets for the kids. Then to the Mission Inn, to admire the wonderful courtyards and all the incredible details.

Then we headed over to the Natural History Museum, which I’ve loved since I was a kid.

By then the kids were starting to get tired, so we called it a day and headed homeward. We stopped in Temec for a nice supper, and got home just as dusk was falling. In spite of all the personal drama going on right now, I think it was the nicest birthday I’ve had in years. It felt like…a new beginning.

Categories: Family, food, Gardening, kids, Life, Love, Marriage, Travel | 7 Comments

Happy Birthday Elizabeth!

It’s the Big One-Oh!

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XXXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOOXXX

You’ve come a long way, baby! πŸ™‚

Categories: Birthdays, Family, kids, Life | 4 Comments

Insert Money Here –>

I found this in Luke’s room today:

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I’m not sure he’s entirely clear on how a reward poster works.

Categories: Family, Humor, kids, Life | 3 Comments

Luke’s Boot’s 15 Minutes Of Fame

Had a mildly surreal experience today. I got a phone call from Golden Era Productions, asking if we had a young child who was in possession of a horse and a pair of cowboy boots. Seems they’re filming a documentary about some old Montana cowboy and they need some footage of a child’s boot in a stirrup. They were having trouble finding a workable child with workable boots (the shot was supposed to be set in the 1920’s, and the only other child they could find wore purple boots, so no good there), until a guy who knew Steve from the Ramona Pageant gave them our number. They just wanted a shot of Luke’s leg and boot, in a stirrup. They wanted to drive up from Hemet today, as soon as he got home from school, and take it. I couldn’t think of any good reason to tell them no, so I said that’d be fine.

They arrived as I was leaving to pick up the kids at the bus stop. Steve met them: two men and a woman, all with various exotic accents and dressed in black. They wanted a darkish horse in the pics, so Steve decided on Sam. They wanted an authentic ranch saddle, so Steve put his own roping saddle on him. When I got back and handed Luke over to them, they gave him an adorable little pair of roughspun brown trousers such a country lad might wear in the ’20’s. He went in the house and put on those and his boots. He put on his hat too, even though it wouldn’t show in the pics.

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Even with the stirrups on Steve’s saddle adjusted all the way up to the shortest hole, Luke’s little seven-year-old legs couldn’t reach them. So to get the boot shot right, Luke had to lean way over and stick one foot in the stirrup on the camera side, with the other leg kind of dangling over the seat. He was a good sport about it, but he wasn’t crazy about being on Sam in the first place, and I could see him trembling a little sometimes.

The whole shoot was rather elaborate, with ladders and ginormous cameras involved. The woman, Debbie, gave me a pile of paperwork to fill out, waivers and such, during which I learned that Luke would be paid $100 for the filmographical use of his foot. He was pleased to hear it.

Then they packed up their equipment and left, and Luke’s stint in show biz was over. He didn’t look particularly sorry to see them go. He did ask me if I’d get him a pair of brown pants like that for his own though; I think he kind of dug the look. They did look awfully cute on him.

I’d love to get my hands on a copy of that documentary when it comes out. “LOOK! There’s Luke’s boot, there it is!!”

Maybe we can get it autographed by Tom Cruise. ;^)

Categories: Family, Horses, kids, Life | 2 Comments

The Hideout

Many years ago, back in my single days, I spent four years working in a machine shop. The pay was decent, but for an outdoorsy sort like me it was a horrible way to make a living. I came home every afternoon soaked with toxic solvents, my ears ringing from ten hours of close-range exposure to deafening noise levels, my back and arms and eyes aching from the endless repetitive motion of feeding stock into the machines at one end and making sure the tiny parts that came out the other end were all within tolerances so tight they had to be checked constantly with a micrometer. As often as not I also came home angry, for reasons that are probably common to many workplaces and way too tiresome to go into on this blog.

Every weekend I cleared my head and unknotted my muscles and my spirit by riding my horse (it was Stormy then, in her exuberant youth) out to the PC Trail and then dismounting and hiking along it for several hours.

(Sidenote for non-Westerners — the PC Trail has nothing to do with Political Correctness or Personal Computers; it’s actually the Pacific Crest Trail, and it runs all the way from Mexico to Canada along the coastal mountain ridges of California, Oregon and Washington. It runs right through Anza, and it’s a wonderfully quiet place to ride or hike.)

At one point my little section of the trail crosses a small creek. Back in 1993 we had some spectacular floods, and that little creek turned into a raging river that carved a deep ravine with sheer cliffsides from what used to be a shallow creekbed. The first time I saw that ravine after the flood, it was littered with cottonwood trees that had been uprooted and washed downstream by the force of the water. Two determined trees had held their ground, and beneath their spreading branches the newly-hewn ravine seemed to me a place of wild beauty and quiet shelter. I felt drawn to it.

It wasn’t easy to get a horse down into the part of the ravine that had captured my interest. It involved sliding down the least steep part of the wall, and hoping Stormy didn’t break her legs on all the loose rocks on the way down. Once at the bottom, though, it was flat and grassy and Stormy could graze beside the little creek while I relaxed in the hammock I’d soon packed in. One of the surviving trees was so old and massive that I could actually tie one end of my hammock to one of its branches and the other end to another branch of the same tree, and hang comfortably up there in its shady heights. I kept a book there too, hidden away in a tiny little cave in one of the ravine’s cliffsides. I whiled away many a Saturday afternoon down there, reading my book and enjoying the breezy shelter of my cottonwood tree. I thought of it as my “hideout,” my once-a-week refuge from the soul-withering stresses of what used to be my life.

And then I met Steve and eventually stopped working at the machine shop and got married and had kids and years and years went by without a visit to my old hideout. Before yesterday I hadn’t been down there once since Elizabeth was born. But yesterday the weather was gorgeous and a family ride sounded like just the thing, and for once we were all old enough and well-mounted enough to go all the way down to that ravine. So we packed a lunch and saddled up!

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The trail was a bit rougher than I remembered it, but all the horses did great. Mahogany is still very green, so I was really pleased with how well she handled herself. I was able to get some great pics from her back.

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When we reached my “hideout,” all the horses slid down into the ravine with no fuss. Stormy remembered the place well — I just pulled off her saddle and bridle and she got busy grazing. Mahogany and Beau were tied to trees, and Steve held Marshall to let him graze.

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The dogs had a blast splashing around in the creek, Luke and Elizabeth climbed all over the rocks and trees, and I soaked up some sunshine.

It was great to be back in the old hideout, and even better to be sharing it with loved ones this time instead of trying to escape reality there. I’m glad we went.

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When it was time to head back we rode up to where the trail crosses the creek. The weeds were as tall as a horse’s back there, thanks to all the rain this winter.

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The only horse that made a fuss about crossing the water was Mahogany. We eventually got her through it, but it took a while.

All in all it was a great day though. Mahogany gained a ton of trail experience, and the kids can’t wait to go back. I think we’ll be doing more of that from now on.

Categories: Family, Horses, kids, Life, trail rides | 6 Comments

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