Christianity

Sorry I’ve Been So Quiet Lately….

There was a time, not so very long ago, when I would frown in baffled confusion whenever some other blogger would write something along the lines of, “Sorry I’ve been so quiet lately, there’s a bunch of stuff going on in my life that I can’t really blog about.”

I didn’t get that. For one thing (I would say to myself), isn’t that the whole point of blogging? To talk about all the stuff that’s going on in our lives?

For another thing, my favorite bloggers, the ones I follow voraciously and miss when they’re quiet too long, tend to be the sort of unabashed oversharers who will write in great detail about, say, the capricious workings of their lady-plumbing or the bizarre sociopathic tendencies of their cat. How could there be ANYTHING that these folks would be too embarrassed to blog about??

Well, now I get it. It’s one thing to place your own personal tragedies and comedies on display for all the world to see. It’s a whole ‘nother thing to drag other members of your community into the spotlight with you.

I’ve never really been part of a community before, so this was seriously an eye-opening revelation for me. Bear with me as I marvel at the intricate and fragile web of diplomacy and artifice that apparently holds modern civilization together. Pardon my transfixed silence as I come to terms with the constant manipulations, the casual betrayals, the almost unconscious every-man-for-himself jockeying for position.

Okay, that sounds a bit melodramatic. I haven’t lost faith in humanity’s capacity for goodness, and I still believe that the overwhelming majority of people really do mean well. After all my experiences of the past year, how could I not? But just between you and me, Dear Internet, I am beginning to lose patience with people who KNOW the way Christians are supposed to behave and yet continually justify their own selfish or just-plain-mean choices.

There have been three or four separate, unrelated incidents in the past couple of months, all involving me and folks from my church, that have left me scratching my head at the total disregard some humans have for the basic rights and feelings of other humans. It would be an overstatement to say that I was actually hurt by any of the incidents, because, let’s face it, I don’t even know what it would take to hurt me anymore. Here’s hoping I never have to find out. But I’m beginning to understand why so many good Christians don’t care much for church people: you get all the normal flaws and imperfections of regular people, PLUS the breathtakingly blatant hypocrisy, which adds that lovely touch of irony!

Anyway. I’ve probably said more than enough already, so I’ll stop grousing now.

I love my church. I love the people there. I love being a part of helping it grow. I do not love everything that goes on there, but I think that’s probably true of any community.

Seriously though, can’t we all just get along?

Categories: Christianity, Friends, Life | 6 Comments

A Joyful Noise

The worship music at my church is normally recorded and burned to cd each week. I was looking forward to getting our recording of “Blessed Be Your Name” and posting it here, since that’s probably my favorite of all our songs, but OF COURSE the week we sang it something went wonky with the recording equipment and no cd was made.

As it happened, though, that was the day I’d brought my camera and asked Elizabeth to take some pics for the blog. I’d also asked her to get a video recording of “Blessed” when we ran through it during the pre-church warmup session.

“Pan the camera back and forth,” I told her, “so everyone gets into the video.”

I had to laugh when I watched the movie she’d made: she’d followed my instructions diligently, WHOOSHING the camera from side to side throughout the entire recording. It’s a bit dizzying.

Anyway, I’ve uploaded the video to YouTube. The picture quality is horrible and the sound wasn’t as polished during the warmup as it was during the actual worship session (and the sound quality on my little digital camera isn’t stellar anyway) and we didn’t make it all the way through this practice run without flubbing the timing and having to stop…but it’s still a fine, fine song and I wanted to share it.

If you start to get dizzy from the whooshing back and forth, just close your eyes for a minute. Next time I’ll clarify to Elizabeth that the camera doesn’t need to be in constant motion through the entire video!

Categories: Christianity, Friends, Life, Music | 1 Comment

Roundup Part 2: Short And Sweet

When you have a roundup to work a total of three calves, the preparation takes longer than the actual job.

Brooke hauled Stormy and Mahogany to Trinity for me in Doc’s rig, since I haven’t driven a truck in over fifteen years (Steve never let me drive any of his), and I don’t think I’ve EVER driven a truck that was pulling anything. Doc and his two cowboy friends had just finished setting up the corral when we got there. Then Brooke took my car to her house just up the road to pick up two of her kids, and got back around the same time John and Raeanna arrived.

Bringing in the herd took the longest. They were Resistant to being corralled, and we only had five horses, and Mahogany hasn’t had much practice with cows so she wasn’t terribly helpful.

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But eventually we got ’em in.

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Turned out we actually had four calves, but the newest one was only a few days old and too little to really torment yet, so we’ll brand and castrate him next time. He was just the right size to help John get a feel for calf-handling, though.

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I love the smell of burning cowhide in the morning!

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Castrating turned out to be messier yet less nauseating than I’d expected. OF COURSE I had my first effort thoroughly recorded for posterity. Here’s one of the less-gruesome pics:

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When we were all done one of Doc’s friends entertained us with rope tricks.

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Then we loaded up the steer and the horses and headed home, where Brooke and I got the steer ensconced in his fattening pen. Poor guy misses his buddies.

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And that was my very first roundup as Sole-Herd-Owner-Person. I could not have done it alone, and my heartfelt thanks go out to the folks who helped make it happen. Everyone seemed to have a good time, and they all said they wanted to come back for the next one, so I think this cow business thing is looking absolutely doable. I want to buy my own corral panels so I don’t have to keep borrowing Doc’s, and I need to practice driving a truck and trailer rig so I can haul my own horses, but those things are also doable. I mean, if I’ve learned nothing else this past year I’ve learned that with God ALL things are possible.

Life feels pretty good right now.

And now I need a shower.

Categories: Animals, Christianity, Friends, Horses, Life, Ranching | 3 Comments

Roundup Part 1: Amazing Grace

A cattle roundup is a fairly simple thing to organize, if you have the manpower and resources and skills available. You set a date, tell your friends, and when the day arrives you usually end up with more help than you need: riders, ropers, sorters, muggers, castraters, branders, cowboys, people who like to play cowboy…it’s almost more of a social get-together than a job, and everyone mostly shows up for the fun.

Of course, if you have just spend the past year of your life starting over almost from scratch, and none of your new friends have ever thrown a rope or castrated a calf — and neither have you — then a cattle roundup becomes not such a simple thing to organize. In fact it becomes A Tad Complicated.

I had offers of help from my friends, and I deeply appreciate that, but how do you catch and hold down a calf without ropers? Well, you can buy a calf table, unless your car happens to suddenly die and require over $900 worth of resuscitation. Yarg. Also, if you understand the process of calf castration but have never actually done it yourself, how do you know for sure that you won’t throw up and/or pass out halfway through the procedure? And, oh yeah, how do you even get your horses to the event if you don’t own a trailer or a truck that will pull one? Then there’s the matter of a corral. You can’t have a cattle roundup without a corral to round them up into, and Steve had taken most of the livestock panels with him, and I couldn’t find anyone with used panels to sell, and new ones cost $140 for a ten or twelve foot section. That would add up to roughly a gazillion dollars, which I didn’t have (see: car repair bill, above).

If I let myself think too much about all this stuff I might have started worrying that it wasn’t going to work out at all, but fretting about that sort of thing is a total waste of energy. All I could do was commend the whole matter into God’s hands and trust that things would happen the way He wanted them to. I was just AWARE of the issues, is all I’m saying.

In mid-May I approached a horse vet who goes to my church, an incredibly nice fellow who had come out and treated my horses in the past. I didn’t really know him socially but I figured as a vet he’d at least be able to give me a hands-on tutorial in calf castration, if he were so inclined. So I asked him, if he were theoretically invited to a roundup, would that be just another day at the office for him or would it be something he’d enjoy? His face lit up, he said he LOVED doing that stuff, and that if I needed any other skilled help he could bring some more friends. I said I could really use a header and a heeler (cow jargon for two different kinds of roping skills), and he said they’d be there and what day was the roundup? I told him I’d hoped to wait until all six calves had been born, but that I might not be able to because the firstborn was getting so big. He said no problem, we could have one roundup now and another one later on and that way we could have twice the fun. Also, as it turned out, he had a pile of spare corral panels that he’d be happy to bring over and set up for the day.

I was SO FREAKING GRATEFUL, but he very graciously acted like I was doing him and his friends the favor of having them out, so I couldn’t even feel awkward about accepting all that help.

A few days later I got a message from the Doc’s secretary: he and his friends would be available to come out on June 6th, and did that work for me? It worked perfectly for me, but most of my other friends couldn’t make it that day. I decided that in this particular case I should probably accommodate the doc, and I’d schedule my next roundup far enough in advance that everyone else who wanted to come could be there.

That only left the matter of getting my horses to the roundup site, then getting them AND a steer back to my place afterward (the steer was coming home for fattening and slaughter). This would require the use of a large stock trailer with a center divider: we could put the horses in the front section and the steer in the back. I mentioned this need to a woman from my church who was helping me through the ridiculously complicated process of filing for divorce, and she immediately picked up the phone, called a friend of hers who lives in my general area, then hung up and announced, “Okay, we’ve got the trailer, now we just need a truck.” She was already dialing a new number; this time she was calling Geoff, the new guitarist in our worship group (I’ve been corrected on the spelling of his name). She basically told him that he and his truck would be hauling some livestock for me on June 6th. He had already promised to come and help with the calves if it was on a day he was free, so I wasn’t too awfully horrified by this casual drafting of resources…just mildly taken aback. But when I saw him the next day at a meeting he’d remembered that he had a previous commitment on the 6th. He said we were welcome to use his truck, he just wouldn’t be available to drive it, and while we were working out the logistics of that the Doc mentioned that HE had just the sort of stock trailer I needed, and I was welcome to use it AND his truck since he would be using other vehicles to get his panels and horses to the roundup.

The grace of God and the goodness of people absolutely blow my mind sometimes.

Next: the big day!

Categories: Animals, Christianity, Friends, Horses, Life, Ranching | 4 Comments

A New Song Unto The Lord

When I first joined the BackCountry Worship group in February, it was very new and small and still finding itself. We’ve gained a few members since then (and lost a few), and over the past three months it’s sort of taken on a life of its own and become something kind of amazing.

I have to confess, when I first started singing with them the songs themselves didn’t resonate very deeply with me. I’d grown up on the old Baptist hymns, and that had always been my own personal conception of sacred music. The songs I was learning now were different: mostly newish stuff that plays on gospel radio or upbeat versions of hymns I’d never heard before. To me they were just words and melodies to be learned, notes to be mastered.

“Days Of Elijah” was the first ‘church song’ I loved enough to buy from iTunes for my own personal listening pleasure. I think it’s impossible not to respond to that song, I love the energy and power of it. Sometime after that I started buying all the songs our group was practicing, because it was quicker and easier for me to learn them that way and I could practice at home between meetings. Pretty soon some of the worship music was finding its way onto my regular everyday playlists, and these days the songs I sing while doing housework and gardening are more likely to be worship tunes than my old rock or country favorites.

Recently I was singing along with my newly-downloaded mp3 of “Blessed Be Your Name” when the actual spiritual sense of it hit me unexpectedly. Deeply. The profound TRUTH of it sank in: that joyful peace that comes from keeping a faithful and thankful heart no matter where your path has brought you on any given day.

There are really no words to describe how much this group and this music have come to mean to me. I look forward to our twice-a-week meetings not just just as a time to practice music, but as gathering in worship and fellowship with a handful of kindred souls who share a deep and genuine love for the One we come to honor.

The last time I blogged about them we’d just lost one of our guitarists and our male vocalist, but since then we’ve gotten a new guitarist and our prodigal singer has returned to us. I think there was an audible click the first time this new configuration got together to practice. It feels very right.

Here’s a pic Elizabeth took of us during practice before church yesterday:

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My peeps. On the far left is John, a vocalist. If John were to write his autobiography it would probably fall into the horror genre, and yet he is one of the most joyful people I’ve ever met. I get the impression that his walk through the scarier corners of the Valley of the Shadow and back up into the light have left him pretty much afraid of nothing. Next to John is Susan: worship leader, guitar and vocals, and our collective moral compass whenever we lose track of why we’ve come together. Next is Annie, Susan’s teenage daughter, a delightful creature of light and life with the voice of an angel. I am fairly certain that little singing cartoon birds help Annie get dressed in the mornings. Annie occasionally gets into an odd Mood and starts flinging snarkiness in all directions; this is entertainment of the highest order. Behind Annie is Marie (bass guitar), but you can’t really see her from this angle. Marie is the still water that runs deep: she doesn’t talk a lot, but when she does it’s worth listening to. Next is Jeff, our new guitarist. Jeff is actually the one who told me I should join the worship group, way back when, but he wasn’t able to play with us himself until his employment situation changed a couple weeks ago. I don’t know him as well as I do the others, but he seems like a very likable fellow. Next is me (vocals), and heaven knows we’ve already read enough about me on this blog. Moving on we have Other Jeff. He’s not technically a member of the group, but he sat in with us yesterday and rocked the bongo. On the far left is Robert on drums. A man of few words, but his drums speak quite eloquently on his behalf. For such a quiet guy he can seriously get down with his bad self on that drum set.

One of these days I’ll get a CD of our music and post a song or two here. I’m thinking “Blessed Be Your Name” would be an excellent choice.

Categories: Christianity, Friends, Life, Love, Music | 3 Comments

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