I loved this song back in the day. I haven’t been able to lay my hands on a good copy of it (the version they offer at iTunes is kind of odd) until now. This is a beautiful live performance by Gail Davies; she wrote the song in memory of her grandmother:
An Invincible Summer 
Deb, I didn’t get a chance to play this until now. I bawled the whole way through – in so many ways that was the way my grandmother was as well.
I think the hardest part for me is the little things that you don’t even think about until it’s all over. Living with her like I was, there were a lot of those. Getting used to living alone in her house is hard as well.
How does that saying go? “Every day in every way, I’m getting better and better”? Well, I’m making progress. Slowly, but it is progress.
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I’m glad things are starting to get a little easier. It must seem strange to be living there and not have her with you anymore, but it’s wonderful that you had that time together to become so close. That’s a gift that many people never know; I think both of you were very blessed. :^)
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It’s strange. In many ways the mourning has been easier than it was when I broke up with my last gentleman friend after a year together – I was crying at the drop of a hat then. With Nana it’s less crying and more like there’s a gap in my life and I keep becoming aware of it, kind of like poking your tongue in the tooth that’s no longer there, but with more of a sense of loss.
I was thinking about that today – how this has been easier in some ways than that break-up – and I was pondering on why that might be.
I came to the conclusion it was because there was a sense of completion about her death – her life had been long and full and she was healthy until just the very end – and that sense was missing from the break-up.
If you are ever in a position where you have to decide whether to have someone at home with you or let them pass on from a hospital bed, I highly recommend using hospice. It gives the family a sense of completion and is infinitely more comfortable for everyone, both physically and emotionally.
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My grandfather and my grandmother-in-law both used hospice when their times came; I’ve heard nothing but good things about the program. It makes sense that remaining at home would offer a sense of closure and comfort that hospitals can’t provide.
And about the breakup being harder…I think it’s natural that a loved one at the end of a long and full life would be easier to let go of than a loved one that you had hoped to share a long and full future with. There’s a kind of gentle inevitability to the passing of very old people that makes it easier to accept.
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