Life

Good, Bad And Ugly

THE GOOD (sorta, in a glass-half-full kind of way):

I had even less than my usual amount of luck growing watermelons this year. I think I put in three or four successive plantings, but between the freakishly chilly spring and the nibbling of unidentified vandals who were probably either gophers or birds, only one little sprout survived to maturity. Once the weather finally warmed up it spread out beautifully, though, and produced many tiny melon babies. But pretty soon I noticed that something was eating the tiny melonlets off the vines before they even reached golf-ball size. And then whatever-it-was started eating the leaves off the vines too. And lo, I wrote off any hope of watermelons this year but felt duly thankful that nothing else in the garden was being nibbled on. Yay for the Sacrificial Watermelon Plant!

Eventually the poor thing succumbed completely, and died.

But today! Look what I found hiding in the weeds at the edge of the garden!

Two survivors! The little one hadn’t had a chance to ripen properly before the vine died and it wasn’t very sweet. But the giant one is PERFECT! Yummy and sweet and juicy, and so big we’ll be eating it for three or four days. It’s like finding a really cool prize in a box of Cracker Jacks when all you were expecting was a cheesy temporary tattoo. Or something.

THE BAD:

Today was so awesomely warm and sunny that I decided to take a chance and let the chickens out. Ever since I’d brought the ten new chicks home I’d been keeping the whole flock locked up in the coop together. This was partly so they could all get to know each other, partly so the chicks would learn exactly where “home” is and where to roost at night, and partly to protect the chicks from the dogs. That last one became an immediate concern as soon as Gericault laid eyes on them and heard their tiny peeping voices. He’d never seen or heard baby chicks before, and he was OBSSESSED with them. He’d sit outside the coop and just listen to them peep for hours, every muscle in his doggy body taut with excitement.

That was three weeks ago. The chicks have grown into handsome young pullets (although they still peep like babies), and the fascination seemed to have worn off of them for Gericault.

So. Today, warm and sunny. I opened up the coop, called Gericault in with me and the chickens and reminded him sternly that they were NOT TO BE EATEN. He was the very picture of dutiful obedience.

When an hour or so had passed with no incidents, I decided it was probably safe, and drove my little car over to the apple-orchard-that-was to fill my trunk with firewood. It kills me that the guy that owns the place takes truckloads of good applewood to the dump every week. Yarg.

When I got back home I did a head count, and all the chickens and all ten pullets were accounted for. I patted Gericault, told him he was a good dog, fixed myself some lunch and then went out to unload the wood from my car.

When I came back in Gericault was under my desk. With a dead pullet.

Eeeeerrg.

I yelled at him and smacked him and tossed the unfortunate bird into the field next door where the ravens made a feast of it. Then I went into the henhouse where the pullets were huddled together in terror, and did another head count.

Only seven this time.

Gericault’s lucky he’s such a freaking GOOD DOG when he’s not EATING PETS AND LIVESTOCK, that’s all I have to say about that.

The two missing pullets did find their way back into the coop eventually, so I’ve only lost one. As soon as the rest of the flock came in for the night I locked them all back up. Clearly Gericault cannot be trusted to resist the siren call of those little peeps. When the pullets are clucking like the others we’ll try again.

THE UGLY:

And how. Yesterday this eyesore moved into the neighborhood:

I had hopes that maybe it was one of those modulars that start out looking like crap and then end up being total mansions when they’re all assembled. No such luck, though. This morning there was some guy up on the roof hammering a center roof seam dealie into place, and when I walked up through the pasture for a better look it was even uglier than I was expecting. One of those rusty old aluminum horrors that you usually see in low-rent trailer parks. I realize how snooty I sound, but I LIKED the view from my porch, and now it has that THING in it! I can only hope they will plant lots of trees, and then I won’t have to see it anymore. Except in the winter. Maybe they’ll plant evergreens.

Sigh.

Categories: Animals, Gardening, Life | Tags: , | 3 Comments

Incompetent Parenting 101

Right on schedule, Elizabeth has started having disciplinary problems at school again. In a new twist, so has Luke. I’m pretty sure it’s no coincidence that they’ve both been totally immersed in the Calvin & Hobbes books since I got them out a couple weeks ago. Last Wednesday I got a call from the school: Luke needed to be picked up from the Principal’s office. That same day Elizabeth received a citation for insubordinate behavior in class.

So what’s a mom to do?

I won’t say it’s not tempting to ban the C&H books again. I mean, there is a CLEAR and OBVIOUS correlation between my kids being exposed to Calvin’s naughty influence and then self-destructing at school. But I just really think there’s a bigger issue here than one subversive comic strip. I can put the books away, but I can’t keep Luke and Elizabeth isolated from all the crappy role models of the world forever.

We’re working on expectations and consequences, and leaving the books out for reading. I’ll let you know how that goes.

There was no school Friday, so Thursday night we went to check out the youth group that gets together at our church once a week. Luke had been wanting to go for a while but on a regular school night it’s not really feasible, especially since the church is a fair distance from our place. Anyway, so we checked it out and the kids had fun and Luke wants to go back again which I’m thinking might be wonderful for summer vacation but not so ideal for during the school year. And once again I observed that my kids are going to be mingling with, um, less-than-perfect peers pretty much everywhere they go, so it’s silly to try to shelter them too much.

Friday was gorgeously sunny and warm so we got together with two other moms and six other kids and took a trip down to Oceanside. Luke had never been to the beach before and Elizabeth hadn’t been since she was a toddler, so this was effectively a first for both of them.

I tried to go in the water too, but it was FREEZING! That’s no exaggeration — I was quite the beach aficionado back in my single days, but I’ve never felt the Pacific ocean as frigid as it was Friday. The other two moms come down every week (they homeschool their kids), and they both commented that the water has been unusually cold for this early in the year. Now I keep thinking about the connection between ocean temps and the severity of winters: the colder the ocean the colder the winter. Yikes.

Luke and Elizabeth weren’t deterred by the crust of ice on the waves (okay, possibly a small exaggeration there); in fact Elizabeth had to be dragged in periodically to warm up on the sand or she would have just stayed out there with her borrowed boogie-board till she was too stiff to move.

Around 1:00 Luke, Elizabeth and I walked down the beach to investigate one of the breakwaters that stretch like long thin rocky fingers from the sand into the sea.

About halfway out to the endpoint, the rocks we were walking on were wet from the occasional wave breaking over the side.

Closer to the tip the rocks were wet AND slippery from a permanent layer of slime that coated everything.

So what were we thinking? I dunno. Just about how pretty it all was, I guess. We sure weren’t thinking about what we should have been thinking about.

So we got to the end of the breakwater, and of course Elizabeth ran ahead to the very tipmost rock, because that’s what she does. And I let her because I am an Unfit Mother.

And that’s when an enormous wave crashed head-on into the rocks and very nearly swept my fearless girl off the slippery surface and to practically certain death on the jagged layer of rocks below. The look of terror on her face as she scrambled for a secure hold was something I never want to see again.

And then we left the breakwater and went back to the beach like normal people who have basic self-preservation instincts. If you don’t have ’em, fake ’em, that’s my motto.

The rest of the day was happily non-life-threatening. One of the other girls found a starfish that had lost one of its rays and was just sprouting a new one.

So that was cool. We admired it for a while and then the kids released it back into the sea.

Ironically (or maybe “typically” is the word I’m looking for) it was Luke, not Elizabeth, who came home with the impression that the beach might be a dangerous place. At one point he borrowed a boogie-board from one of the other kids and it carried him a bit farther from shore than he was really comfortable with. So beach=dangerous. Elizabeth? Can’t wait to go back.

Saturday there was a huge rummage sale at the church, and when we’d finally dragged our slothful behinds out of bed (I actually had to go rouse Elizabeth around 8am, which is crazy), we headed over to look for some sweaters and hoodies for the kids. They keep leaving theirs at school, and I can’t afford to keep paying $17 a pop for new ones. At the rummage sale every garment cost 50¢, from the pure wool peacoat I found in my size to the heavyweight hoodies in Luke’s, so that was a big giant score!

Yesterday in church we learned that all the kids in our Sunday school were going to be performing in a Christmas pageant thingie this year, and would begin practicing next week. I LOVE this idea. I just hope Luke and Elizabeth can get their behavior back on track enough to enjoy being a part of the fun.

While we were out at church my sister swung by our house to drop off something for Elizabeth. She was gone by the time we got home, but my phone was ringing before I even got into the house.

It was Steve, demanding to know who had come to my house in a red car.

GAK.

This morning all three of us apparently shut off our alarm clocks when they rang, and went back to sleep. This is the first time this year that all three of us have overslept. By the time I woke up it was just about time to be heading out the door to the bus stop, and the kids were still asleep. I suppose I could have hustled everyone up and driven them to school and they probably only would have been a little bit late, but instead I declared a holiday and we’re all still in our pajamas. I’ve got that Unfit Mother gig DOWN this week!

And I think that’s all the news. Stay tuned for the post where I use Luke for live bait in a cougar-hunting expedition! Good wholesome fun for the whole family!

Categories: Family, Friends, kids, Life | 2 Comments

Warmth

Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
–Norman Macewan

Two or three weeks ago a sign appeared beside a road near my house: “FREE FIREWOOD” and a phone number. Firewood is selling for upwards of $300/cord around here these days and I don’t have a truck for foraging deadwood in the backcountry, so I was dialing that number on my cell about thirty seconds after I read the sign.

The man who answered explained that he had just cut down 500 apple trees and was getting ready to cut down 500 more, and that he just wanted them off his property. And he lives within a couple miles of me! I said I would definitely be getting back to him soon.

Then I ran through the list of people I know who own pickups, trying to decide who would benefit most and be least inconvenienced by throwing in with me in this venture. The obvious answer was Steve: his parents heat their house with woodstoves, he has a truck and he lives just up the road. So I called him and said I could score us both all the free firewood we wanted, if he’d provide the pickup and delivery. He said it sounded like a great deal, and we should plan to do it as soon as he could find the time.

Of course, the time never materialized and eventually I grokked that Steve had no actual interest in picking up apple trees. I’ve no idea why he can’t just SAY he’s not interested, but I guess that would be too simple or something.

Anyway.

My friend Dee, who is one of the ladies in my walking group, came to check out my church last Sunday. It was a COLD COLD day, and after the service I was whining to her about how it was just plain wrong to have to fire up my woodstove this early in the year and how my store of firewood was never going to last the winter at this rate and blah blah blah. I lamented the apple trees, just sitting there less than two miles from my house and yet out of my reach.

Dee, who doesn’t have a woodstove and who lives WAY across town from me, said that her husband has a truck and that he would be happy to help me load up some apple trees. And three days later there we were in the remains of what was once a fine apple orchard.

We all had a collective “HMMMMMM……” moment when we saw the trees. For one thing they were older and bigger than we were expecting. I don’t have a chainsaw, and my little Sawzall was no match for those massive trunks. For another thing, they hadn’t been CUT down, they had been BULLDOZED down, roots and all. There was no way we could lift even one of those monsters into the pickup bed.

Luckily there had been people with chainsaws there before us, and they had already cut up a couple hundred of the trees: they had taken the trunks and left the roots and branchy tops. This suited me fine; I threw several nice stumps into the pickup bed and then started tackling branches with my heavy-duty loppers, cutting off the twiggy stuff and keeping the solid limbs. It wasn’t an easy job, but Dee and her husband and even her elderly mother set to work with their own saws and loppers with such cheerful enthusiasm that in about an hour we had a full load of beautiful stovewood. They said they’d be happy to come back next week for another load, and waved off my grateful offer of gas money. I promised to give them a big pile of steaks when our next steer gets slaughtered later this month, and they happily accepted that. WIN/WIN!

There’s an old saying, “He who cuts his own firewood warms himself twice,” and I’ve always smiled at the truth of that statement. But yesterday I was warmed in a whole new way. These kind and generous people saw a need that they could fill, and they immediately stepped in to fill it even though there was nothing in it for them. And I have a freezer-full of beef arriving in a few weeks, so I’ll be able to repay their kindness. That’s the way a community should work, isn’t it? Friends looking out for each other. People sharing what they have plenty of and receiving what they need. It warmed me even more than that new stack of applewood in my woodpile will.

Happy Love Thursday, everyone. May we all find ways to enrich one another’s lives and share in the everyday blessings all around us.

Categories: Friends, Life, Love Thursday, Self-Sufficiency, Weather, Winter | 7 Comments

Wordless Wednesday: Homegrown Comfort

Categories: food, Gardening, Life, Ranching, Self-Sufficiency, Wordless Wednesday | 2 Comments

Another Rather Blustery Day

Photos can’t really capture the way the Santa Ana winds howl and rage and try to blow the house down. It’s my second-least favorite kind of weather. It used to be my very least favorite until one pre-dawn morning last winter when my car slid off the driveway during an honest-to-goodness blizzard, and me and the kids literally almost froze to death walking the quarter-mile back to our house. So blizzards, now my very least favorite. But I’ve seen exactly one authentic blizzard in the seventeen years I’ve lived in Anza, and the freaking Santa Anas come back almost every year. They keep me awake all night and knock out my internet (any minute now, no doubt) and do their best to blow down every tree and dismantle every structure on the property. Last year my pumphouse BLEW AWAY. I still haven’t been able to replace it, but when I do I think I’m going to use concrete blocks. That third little pig knew what he was doing, you know?

This wind sucks all the motivation out of me; I just want to spend the entire day cozied up to the woodstove with a mug of tea and a good book or a cross-stitch project. And bon-bons.

On a less-grumpy note, yesterday I bought my first-ever pair of Uggs and I big pink puffy heart them. They are warm and soft and cozy and they are slippers and boots all in one and I’m wondering why I didn’t buy them years ago.

So to summarize: Santa Ana winds, bad. Uggs, good.

The winds are supposed to die down tonight, and tomorrow’s forecast is lovely and warm. I’ve got all my fingers and toes crossed for that!

Meanwhile, I’d better hurry up and post this before my internet goes down.

Categories: Family, Life, Weather | Tags: | Leave a comment

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