Friends

Friday Decompression

Posted on September 19, 2008 by Debora

During one of our morning walks this week, my friend Michelle mentioned an old abandoned mine up in Garner Valley that her kids love to go play around in. I was ALL over that, because Luke has a big fascination with mines and caves and such, so we decided to get together after school today, pile my two kids and her three into her SUV, and drive up there.

Just before we got to the mine we stopped at a rocky place where rain and snowmelt sometimes wash through, forming streams and waterfalls and little ponds. There wasn’t much water there this time of year, but the runoff has eroded the stones into fantastically beautiful shapes. The kids frolicked there for a while, scampering around the rocks like mountain goats.

Then we headed on to the mine itself. I don’t know what they were originally mining there, but my guess would be quartz; there’s a lot of that in these mountains. Nowadays it’s mostly full of bats.

It was satisfyingly dark and cavey, but rather small, with three entrances that met in the middle. Once they’d covered that, and amused themselves by harassing the bats for a while with a flashlight beam, Luke checked out the old pieces of machinery lying around while the other kids scrambled around the rocks and fallen trees.

After that we drove down to Lake Hemet to feed the ducks. Here’s a view of the lake from the road near the old mine:

In the seventeen years I’ve lived in Anza, I don’t think I’ve ever walked Lake Hemet’s shoreline before. I was surprised by how pretty it was.

Michelle had supplied two loaves of bread for the outing, but we could only find one lone duck to bestow them on. So the three boys decided to hike along the shore to check out a dam at the far end, and I went along as the designated grup.

The sun was setting as we left for home, and Luke was already negotiating plans for a return trip. I’d like to come back after a rain or snow, when the waterfalls are all running up in the rocks.

Michelle’s turning out to be quite the encyclopedic resource for knowing all the fun stuff to do with young kids around here. She keeps coming up with the best ideas, things I really need to find the time for. And I love how nicely my kids get along with hers!

And tomorrow I have a whole Saturday free with absolutely nothing planned, and the kids will be spending most of it with Steve. I could theoretically sleep in till noon and then eat bon bons in a bubble bath for a couple hours, and no one would care. Except the horses I guess, who might want to be fed. Selfish jerks.

Been a busy week. I’m looking forward to slowing down for a while.

Categories: Animals, Family, Friends, kids, Life | 4 Comments

Current Events

Posted on September 15, 2008 by Debora

Friday there was a big barrel-racing competition in Corona that Julie and four of her friends were riding in, and Julie invited me along to cheer them on. It was a nighttime event in a lighted arena to spare the horses from having to compete in the heat of the day, and I knew I’d be home really late, so the kids spent the night with Steve.

Julie brought a green horse she’s training and rode for “time only,” meaning that she didn’t pay the full entry fee and wasn’t eligible to take home any prize money.

This was an end-of-the-season event, which meant that the riders were not only competing for day money but also tallying the points they’d won over the spring and summer in hopes of taking home one of the prize saddles. Julie’s friend Shannon was already in the top of the points, and Friday she scored day money for her ride AND the saddle for the points she’d accumulated.

It was a fun night. I got home about 2:30 Saturday morning, and I would have loved to sleep in late. I didn’t get to though, because I had a calf to brand at Trinity that morning.

One of my cows (Steve and I split the herd when we separated) had calved after our spring roundup, and it needed to be branded. I asked Steve if I should handle that with some of my friends, but he said no, he’d come and help. In all honesty I was glad to have him there, because he’s bigger and stronger and more experienced than anyone I could have rustled up to help me. I still invited Julie, and she brought Josh’s two strapping teenage sons to lend a hand. And Steve OF COURSE brought his parents, because he is apparently unable to function without them.

Anyway, it all went smoothly. Turned out one of Steve’s cows had a new calf too, a little bull, so we branded mine and castrated his at the same time and had the whole thing wrapped up in less than an hour. I wish I’d gotten pictures, but my sleep-deprived self forgot my camera.

Sunday morning the kids and I went to church. Those of you who know me well are rereading that sentence, wondering if it’s a typo, because me and organized religion have never really gotten along very well. The one time I’d tried a local Anza church a few years back, it only reinforced my impression that home worshipping is, for me, the way to go.

So here’s how it happened: when school started up this year I volunteered to help out with an upcoming fundraiser. This led to having a very nice lady named Michelle invite me to join a walking group she was putting together. That led to meeting a bunch of other very nice ladies that I go walking with in the mornings now, and also to a recommendation that I try out a local nondenominational church with a great pastor.

So to church we went, and I did indeed enjoy it (and so did the kids, who got to make tie-dyed tee-shirts in the Sunday School part), and we’ll be going back next Sunday.

Sunday evening we had a dinner party. Not as fancy as the term might suggest, but fancy enough for us. It was a couple of weeks ago that Luke first said that he wanted to have a dinner party on Sunday. I kind of brushed him off, saying that dinner parties are expensive and the house was a mess and blah blah. A few days later he brought it up again, and I told him that the last thing I needed right now was a bunch of people in our house. This time he clarified that he didn’t mean for me to invite people over. He just wanted the three of us to have a fancy Sunday dinner together. I have no idea what inspired this request, but I told him that yes, that sounded like fun and we should do that sometime, and then I instantly forgot all about it. So when the next Sunday rolled around and Luke asked if we could have our dinner party, I had absolutely nothing on hand to serve that was worthy of such a grand event.

But THIS Sunday I was PREPARED. When we got back from church I sent the kids to go visit Steve, and then I got busy roasting a chicken, making mashed potatoes and gravy, baking biscuits, and chilling sliced cherry tomatoes and zucchini in a balsamic vinaigrette dressing. I got out the good dishes and some candles, and when the kids got back we had a perfectly lovely dinner party, just the three of us.

It was so nice that we’ve decided to make a Sunday tradition of it.

Today Julie came over with her truck and helped me get rid of the last of the trash, the big stuff that never would have fit in my car. So that’s DONE!! Whoot!

And because no Ramblings post would be complete without a bit of navel-gazing, I’ll share a minor epiphany I had this week.

I think I like being single.

I don’t mean that I’m glad Steve and his issues are out of my life, because duh, obviously.

I mean that I’ve begun to genuinely enjoy my life just the way it is. I like the freedom and the simplicity. I like the lack of drama, and the quiet sense of unity, and the cleanness of it. After 39 years of shaping my life around the expectations and demands of other people, I’m discovering an unexpected peace and joy in simply tending to my own spirit for a change. That sounds horribly selfish, but I can’t help it. It’s where I’m at right now.

And that was my weekend, and the rest of my week is even busier. Sadly, my immediate future is mostly full of oil changes and smog checks and doctor’s appointments and school meetings and similarly unblogworthy events, so if there’s a long dry spell that’s why. I’ll be back when things slow down a bit!

Categories: Animals, Family, food, Friends, Horses, kids, Life, Ranching | 2 Comments

I Know I Left It Around Here Somewhere…

Posted on July 28, 2008 by Debora

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
~Mark Twain

You know what I used to have? A sense of humor. Seriously, it used to be one of my best features. That’s probably hard to believe if you’ve only met me in the past few years. So how did I go from being Queen Of The One-Liner in my teens and twenties to being the humorless wretch you see before you now? I’m not sure…maybe it had something to do with cohabiting for thirteen years with someone who never got my jokes. Sorta took the fun out of telling them, you know? Anyway, I’ve decided that this is an Unacceptable State Of Affairs. I gotta get my funny back!

I figured this blog would be the place to start, so yesterday I resolved to sit down and write the most hilarious post I could come up with. But as it turns out, I don’t get to be hilarious again just because I want to. Try as I might, nary a hilarious idea has presented itself. Hunh.

Alrighty then.

It’s been said that a sense of humor is really just a sense of perspective, so maybe what I really to do is take a step back and look at the big picture. When viewed through the Lens Of Perspective, my life has all kinds of stuff in it that I should be thanking God for instead of focusing on the less-than-ideal aspects. In that spirit, and in lieu of anything actually funny, I’ve decided to list five things that I’m extremely thankful for. Who knows, maybe a healthy dose of perspective will help me recapture that elusive sense of humor again. Here goes:

1. My children. Luke and Elizabeth are far and away the best thing(s) that have ever happened to me. They keep me grounded, give me something larger than myself to live for, and provide much-needed laughter and whimsy in my daily soundtrack. They are the mirrors that reflect back to me the best and worst in my own behavior. My heart is so full of love for them that it hurts sometimes, in the best possible way.

2. My home. I love this place. I love my garden and the orchard and all the space for kids to run around in, and how close it is — a short ride on a fast horse — to uncivilized wilderness. I’m slightly less euphoric about the cardboard-and-staples circa 1972 mobile home, but that’s why renovation projects were invented, right? And I’m thankful that Steve wants to keep his kids nearby, so selling the property isn’t something I need to worry about just yet…knock on wood.

3. My friends. One thing I didn’t expect about my marital breakup was that it would turn out to be a sort of litmus test to show me who my true friends are — and aren’t. There were people whom I had considered friends that simply stopped answering my calls when they found out that Steve and I had split. Perhaps they feared that divorce might be contagious, or they were turned off by the social stigma, or maybe they felt the need to take sides and they took Steve’s? I don’t know, they were just gone. Thank heaven for the brighter side of that coin: friends who immediately stepped in with words of comfort and support and/or offers of company and diversion. They made me laugh when my world was crumbling. They gave me a bit of solid ground to stand on and something to lean on and bolstered my faltering self-esteem. They kept me from sliding past grief and into true despair. I don’t even want to think about how much harder this experience would have been without them. Their friendship is a treasure beyond price, and I thank God for them every day.

4. The lessons I’ve learned. Everything’s a learning experience, right? In my darker moments I feel like I’ve completely wasted the past fourteen years of my life, but in all fairness that’s not really true at all. If I’m honest, I have to admit that I’m a better person for knowing Steve. The lessons weren’t always easy or fun, but I think I’ve come out the other side of this marriage stronger and wiser and more balanced than I went into it. I know a lot more about how to get along as a functioning member of the human race than I did before I met him. So, I do appreciate that.

5. Hmmmmm. Surely I haven’t run out of stuff to be thankful for already…? OH! I’m thankful for this guy that hit on me today at the supermarket. I sorta blew him off (nicely) because I’m nowhere near ready to start dealing with men again yet and he didn’t look like my type anyway, but still. When you’re 39 years old it’s always a compliment, and frankly I appreciated the ego boost. So thanks, guy at the supermarket!

Okay! Got my happy thoughts back, let the hilarity begin!

Any minute now.

Yeah, stay tuned. I’ll get back to you on that.

Categories: Family, Friends, Humor, Life | Leave a comment

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