I Wonder If She Says “I Told You!” To His Gravestone.

I thought about saving this for Wordless Wednesday and just posting a pic of the cover, but I couldn’t bring myself to let the mocking stop there.

I found it in the last shed I cleaned out:

It’s from August 1972.

It contains, amongst the highly conjectural and grammatically-flexible celeb gossip:

9 ads for breast enhancement products/programs. Ah, the good old days when all a girl needed to be happy and successful and popular were really big boobs!

9 ads for various weight loss methods, including 3 for rubber bodysuits that one zipped oneself into. Fun!!

8 ads for stylin’ threads like these…

Oh yeah. Flaunt it, ladies.

8 ads for the really attractive stuff like tampons, douches, Midol, depilatories and hemorrhoid creme. ‘Cause we all wanted to see those.

5 cigarette ads, nearly all full-page and aimed right at women. “Made for the lady with taste!” Yes indeedy.

And of course, the obligatory half-page ad for sea monkeys.

A bowl full of happiness! I want a bowl full of happiness!!

Wait…no…I want a bowl full of Häagen-Dazs.

And maybe some bigger boobs, so I can be all successful and popular.

Thank goodness I have Motion Picture Magazine to show me the way.